tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58665795803583102982024-03-05T15:49:44.551-08:00Jesse and MarissaThe Jensens-Jesse, Marissa, Corbin, Gavin, MikaelaMarissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.comBlogger272125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-31459245769645528252019-04-14T16:19:00.002-07:002019-04-14T16:28:37.803-07:00Seeing the beauty in weeds.<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I had to speak in church today and while preparing my talk I was able to have what I consider a sweet moment with my Heavenly Father. As today was approaching and I was getting down to those last few days to write my talk and doing the hard part of gathering all your thoughts and actually putting them into a form of a talk. I don't mind preparing talks because it a sweet little reminder of how good it feels when you really take time to study but I don't feel like I am very good at expressing myself in a talk form. I feel more comfortable in a classroom setting where people can chime in as needed and you can have discussions. English class was never my strength and I question my knowledge of remembering how to give an appropriate talk. I feel that the good talks usually have stories that help remember what is being taught and sadly I feel that I can't remember much and don't have many stories I am able to share. Its always nice when you are preparing a talk and you see the truths you are studying and going to be teaching and sharing happening right before your own eyes. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I was assigned to give a talk on President Nelson's conference talk titled " Drawing the Powers of Jesus Christ in our lives". I had been listening and studying it as well as other talks on the same subject and trying to figure out how to share all these wonderful things you read without just reading the whole talk for your own talk ha! Heavenly Father allowed me to have a simple experience happen to me which could sound really silly to anyone else. It all starts with me enjoying the yellow dandelions in the big field of grass and then while we are at the park I watch the man use the lawn mower to cut the grass and soon enough the field was now a freshly cut field of green grass. It helped me relate it to the atonement. (Talk will be posted below)</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">As I was finishing up my talk last night I questioned if dandelions were really considered weeds or not because I didn't want to be relating dandelions to "weeds in our life" if they actually weren't. I start researching..meaning googling "are dandelions weeds". You can find quite a few articles about dandelions-some trying to help you get rid of them and some defending these "flowers" and showing all the benefits they bring. The first thing I read was "Only in the twentieth century did humans decide that the dandelion was a weed. Before the invention of lawns, the golden blossoms and lion-toothed leaves were more likely to be praised as a bounty of food, medicine, and magic." As I go on reading a little more because health related things interest me I also learn how they help with the soil. It stated that "dandelions aerate and condition distressed soil. The long, strong taproots of dandelions push through into dry, cracked, compacted earth, helping to break it up, create channels for air and water to penetrate, and maintain a loose soil structure that allows earthworms to do their work. The plants draw calcium, iron, and potassium from deep in the earth into their leaves. When they die and decompose, they leave behind mineral-rich organic matter that nourishes the soil" In that moment I was like WOW! I had related these dandelion weeds to the hard challenges, trails, temptations, heartache, sadness, pain etc in our lives and just like dandelions help the soil in that moment I knew it was just like those negative challenge can help our SOUL. If you go back and read that again you can relate what I dandelion does to the soil to how trails in our lives help in similar ways. Help dry compacted cracked earth...help hardheartedness. Create channels for air and water to penetrate could be related to many different things. They draw those minerals into their lives just as trials can help draw things into our lives...and so on. But what stood out to me the most was probably the fact that they leave behind mineral-rich ORGANIC matter the nourishes the soil...hard challenges in life can be nourishing the SOUL. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">In that moment I realize how Heavenly Father had that all play out for me which was just a neat correlation that again to other people might sound silly. It was getting late but I was on that spiritual high and was enjoying this experience of relating trails to dandelion weeds. I clicked on another article and what I read next just made me literally laugh out loud. It said " The war on dandelions is a war we cannot win. These plants are here to stay. By developing more environmentally sound lawn and yard care practices we can limit the population of dandelions somewhat, but face it, they are now apart of our landscape. And remember, its just a little plant, its not the second coming of Satan. Take a deep breath, relax and enjoy your lawn more. Life's too short to get all bent out of shape by a little plant." Like seriously did this random person who wrote this article know I was relating these to the gospel? Trails, temptations, heartache, sadness, pain etc are here to stay while in this mortal life (war on dandelions is here to stay) but by developing a good foundation built upon christ and drawing on the powers of the Atonement of Jesus Christ (developing more environmentally sound lawn and yard care practices) we can limit them but lets face it we can't avoid them completely. Take a deep breath and enjoy your life more instead of dwelling on the weeds. The end of the article asks "Is Dandelion an unwanted weed or a beautiful healing flower that pops up in your yard every spring". </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">In that moment I felt that Heavenly Father showed me how he has a little sense of humor and I felt that connection to Him in a different way then I have felt before that even when I tell this story to someone they will not fully be able to understand and experience it and I am grateful for that experience but as I learned when I was studying for my talk without my agency to choose to study this subject I would have never had this opportunity to cherish. :) Something as simple and silly as this was a way I felt closer to my Heavenly Father. When we put ourselves in a situation to feel of His love He is always there reaching out ready to give it to us. We have to act and not just expect to be acted upon.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Here is my talk even though I didn't read it word for word and I added things here and there.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 32px;">Just the other day my kids and I were walking to the park and I passed a big green grass area that had little yellow flowers popping up all over and just couldn’t help but think how beautiful it looked. I made my kids stop and take a picture to remember and soak in that moment. After the picture I kinda laughed to myself thinking its funny how these little yellow flowers popping out all over the grass were actually just dandelion weeds but looked so beautiful to me even though they are considered weeds and usually are unwanted. I realized though it is all about perspective. We can see beauty in the weeds. Since living in Las Vegas the last 5 years it’s a nice pleasant change to see these bright beautiful colors even if they are considered weeds. But lets be honest none of us really want dandelions all over our front yard just like none of us really want a bunch of “weeds” in our lives. These weeds can represent different things for each of us-they can be trials and challenges, temptations, heartache, sadness, pain and any of those negative challenges we have in this mortal life. But We all have to unavoidably deal with these unpleasant weeds that pop up all over in our lives.</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">As we played at the park over the next little while I watched as a man used this nice ride on lawn mower to cut the grass and when the field was done it was a smooth nice freshly cut field of grass. It might seem silly but in that moment I thought how anyone could have slowly put surely picked every one of those dandelions off that grass if we wanted to but that lawn mower he used made the process so much easier and efficient. Just as in this mortal life we can get through challenges and heartache by ourselves but if we draw on the power of Jesus Christ Atonement it can help ease the burden.<span class="verse-numberverse"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span class="verse-numberverse"><b><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; line-height: 32px; padding: 0in;">Matthew 11--28</span></b></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; line-height: 32px; padding: 0in;"> </span></b></span><span class="para-mark"><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; line-height: 32px; padding: 0in;">¶</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="border: 1pt none; color: #333333; line-height: 32px; padding: 0in;"> </span></span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">Come<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>unto me, all<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="clarity-word"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">ye</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>that<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>labour<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and are heavy laden, and I will give you<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>rest. <span class="verse-numberverse"><b><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">29</span></b></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;"> </span></b></span>Take my<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>yoke<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>upon you, and<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>learn<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>of me; for I am<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>meek<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>and<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>lowly<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>in<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>heart: and ye shall find<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>rest<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>unto your souls. <span class="verse-numberverse"><b><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">30</span></b></span><span class="apple-converted-space"><b><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;"> </span></b></span>For my yoke<span class="apple-converted-space"> </span><span class="clarity-word"><span style="border: 1pt none windowtext; padding: 0in;">is</span></span><span class="apple-converted-space"> </span>easy, and my burden is light.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">President Nelson said We live in a most difficult dispensation. Challenges, controversies, and complexities swirl around us. </span><span style="line-height: 32px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">He warned us that in our day the adversary would stir up anger in the hearts of men and lead them astray.</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/drawing-the-power-of-jesus-christ-into-our-lives?lang=eng#note1" style="color: purple;"><sup><span style="color: #147ea7; line-height: 26.666664123535156px; text-decoration: none;">1</span></sup></a></span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> </span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">He continues-" Our Heavenly Father never intended that we would deal with the maze of personal problems and social issues on our own.</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">God so loved the world that He sent His Only Begotten Son</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/drawing-the-power-of-jesus-christ-into-our-lives?lang=eng#note2" style="color: purple;"><sup><span style="color: #147ea7; line-height: 26.666664123535156px; text-decoration: none;">2</span></sup></a></span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">to help us.</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #147ea7; font-size: x-small; line-height: 32px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">And His Son, Jesus Christ, gave His life for us. ALL so that we could have access to GODLY POWER—power sufficient to deal with the burdens, obstacles, and temptations of our day.</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">How could the Father tell the world of love and tenderness?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He sent his Son, a newborn babe, with peace and holiness.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">How could the Father show the world the pathway we should go?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He sent his Son to walk with men on earth, that we may know.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">How could the Father tell the world of sacrifice, of death?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He sent his Son to die for us and rise with living breath.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">What does the Father ask of us? What do the scriptures say?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Have faith, have hope, live like his Son, help others on their way.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">What does he ask? Live like his Son.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">When you think about teaching someone about the Atonement of Jesus Christ I believe the first things a lot of us teach is that Jesus Christ died for our sins so that we can repent and be cleansed-which </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212225; line-height: 32px;">is fundamental and foundational to the doctrine of Christ. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #212225; line-height: 32px;">But as Elder Bednar said “we also need to appreciate that the Lord desires, through His Atonement and by the power of the Holy Ghost, to</span><span style="color: #212225; line-height: 32px;"> <i>live</i> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #212225; line-height: 32px;">in us—not only to direct us but also to empower us. Most of us clearly understand that the Atonement is for sinners. I am not so sure, however, that we know and understand that the Atonement is also for saints—We may mistakenly believe we must make the journey from good to better and become a saint all by ourselves, through sheer grit, willpower, and discipline, and with our obviously limited capacities.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #212225; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Relating back to those dandelion weeds in the grass…We don’t need to suffer pulling each of those weeds out one by one and then even going with little scissors to cut the grass down to the right size to make it look really nice. We have that lawn mower already paid for and sitting right there waiting for us to use it. But we have to make that choice to actually use it. So how do we choose to Come unto Christ and access that power?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">President Nelson says We begin by learning about Him</span><span style="line-height: 32px;">. </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">The more we know about the Savior’s ministry and mission</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/drawing-the-power-of-jesus-christ-into-our-lives?lang=eng#note7" style="color: purple;"><sup><span style="color: #147ea7; line-height: 26.666664123535156px; text-decoration: none;">7</span></sup></a></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">—the more we understand His doctrine</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/drawing-the-power-of-jesus-christ-into-our-lives?lang=eng#note8" style="color: purple;"><sup><span style="color: #147ea7; line-height: 26.666664123535156px; text-decoration: none;">8</span></sup></a></span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">and what He did for us—the more we know that He can provide the power that we need for our lives.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">How convenient that this year we are studying the saviors life in the New Testament this year individually and with the family. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">President nelson also suggested or even challenged to-Study</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> <i>everything</i> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">Jesus said and did as recorded in the standard works.</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/drawing-the-power-of-jesus-christ-into-our-lives?lang=eng#note9" style="color: purple;"><sup><span style="color: #147ea7; line-height: 26.666664123535156px;">9</span></sup></a></span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">He invites to let the scriptural citations about Jesus Christ in the Topical Guide become your personal core curriculum.</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/drawing-the-power-of-jesus-christ-into-our-lives?lang=eng#note10" style="color: purple;"><sup><span style="color: #147ea7; line-height: 26.666664123535156px; text-decoration: none;">10</span></sup></a><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He did that challenge himself and knew of the benefit of doing it and said “my wife asked me what impact it had on me. I told her, “I am a different man!”<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He also urges us to Study the Living Christ. I feel like most of us that are here are striving to become better so we he said he was a different man it makes me curious what impact it can have on us if we take on the challenge if you haven’t done so already. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">President nelson says As we invest time in learning about the Savior and His atoning sacrifice, we are drawn to participate in another key element to accessing His power: we choose to have faith in Him and follow Him</span><span style="line-height: 32px;">.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">There is nothing easy or automatic about becoming such powerful disciples. Our focus must be riveted on the Savior and His gospel. It is mentally rigorous to strive to look unto Him in</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> <i>every</i> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">thought.</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/drawing-the-power-of-jesus-christ-into-our-lives?lang=eng#note15" style="color: purple;"><sup><span style="color: #147ea7; line-height: 26.666664123535156px;">15</span></sup></a></span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">But when we do, our doubts and fears flee.</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/drawing-the-power-of-jesus-christ-into-our-lives?lang=eng#note16" style="color: purple;"><sup><span style="color: #147ea7; line-height: 26.666664123535156px;">16</span></sup></a><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">True disciples of Jesus Christ are willing to stand out, speak up, and be different from the people of the world. They are undaunted, devoted, and courageous.</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I have been reminded repeatedly when I am not feeling motivated that the Natural man is an enemy to God who I would say naturally wants the easy way out or to be lazy. As Satan also convinces us Its easier to just turn on the tv or sit on your phone and relax then to get out your scriptures and study. Its easier to not fit into your schedule a temple visit. Its easier to not minister and think about others because we are too busy with our own life. Its easier to sit home on the weekend then to get ready and come to church and in my stage of life take care of crazy kids at church. And to even put that on another level its easier to just show up to church and just have them teach you want you need to learn instead of putting forth your own effort to really study and learn for yourself. Its easier to make excuses or blame others and not be accountable. <o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">I am humbled as I have to be honest and admit that I could do a better job myself and put more effort into these things that are important especially scripture study. ( I don't believe God wants us to feel guilty about it I believe he repeated reminds us because he wants us to feel his love-to use the Atonement each week as we partake in the sacrament and see where we can improve. ) I would like to use the excuse as we just moved and I have young kids and don’t have much time to myself but I feel like any phase of life we can have excuses. One of the quotes I have always love is from</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Richard G Scott: Don’t yield to Satan’s lie that you don’t have time to study the scriptures. Choose to take time to study them. Feasting on the word of God each day is more important than sleep, school, work, television shows, video games, or social media. You may need to reorganize your priorities to provide time for the study of the word of God. If so, do it!<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">We need to reach up in Faith to draw on the powers of Jesus Christ. As we recently studied about the women who had been sick for 12 years who said “If I may touch but his clothes, I shall be whole.”</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">President Nelson said Her physical stretching was symbolic of her spiritual stretching.</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">He continues-When you reach up for the Lord’s power in your life with the same intensity that a drowning person has when grasping and gasping for air, power from Jesus Christ will be yours. When the Savior knows you truly want to reach up to Him—when He can feel that the greatest desire of your heart is to draw His power into your life—you will be led by the Holy Ghost to know exactly what you should do.</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><a href="https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2017/04/drawing-the-power-of-jesus-christ-into-our-lives?lang=eng#note21" style="color: purple;"><sup><span style="color: #147ea7; line-height: 26.666664123535156px; text-decoration: none;">21</span></sup></a><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Isn’t it amazing that when we have true desire to make those righteous choices in our lives that God helps us find a way to make it happen and things usually seem to go a little more smoothly. We somehow find that we have more time, we have more patience, we have more love and understanding for others. Even the simple thing like my kids taking naps at the same time and I have that choice between the million things on my to do list or sit down and read my scripture I find myself being able to get more done when I put him first. Some people may call it coincidence but to me I feel my Heavenly Fathers love for me saying I see your effort. Other times I believe we might be tested us a little more to see where our priorities are and no one naps so I don’t get that perfect opportunity but I can choose to still find time and put forth that effort which I think that situation happens more than not for most of us. Our lives are filled with so many distractions and choices and that talk titled “Good better best” keeps coming to my mind over and over again. How we choose to spend our time shows our commitment to the Lord.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Another way president nelson says we can increase the Savior’s power in our lives is when we make sacred covenants and keep those covenants with precision. Our covenants bind us to Him and give us godly power.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">He says: Covenant-keeping men and women seek for ways to keep themselves unspotted from the world so there will be nothing blocking their access to the Savior’s power. He gives the example of a couple who instead of listening to the radio chose to listen to conference talks. Think if there is possibly an area in your life that you could be changing into a better choice to help you draw on the savior’s power?<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">President Nelson says: Faith in Jesus Christ propels us to do things we otherwise would not do. Faith that motivates us to action gives us more access to His power.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">You know that feeling when the spirit is so strong and you feel on a high and even your worries start to fade away-maybe you have felt this at a church meeting or activity, or at the temple, or reading your scriptures, or listening to conference this past weekend. That moment when the spirit is testifying to you that what you hear and feel is true and it motivates you. I believe He wants us to feel that way everyday. He wants your worldly worries to not seem as big of a deal so he gives us these tools to use so we can continue to feel his love for us. We have the agency to choose to use them.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">Richard G Scott said: Because He respects your agency, Father in Heaven will never force you to pray to Him. But as you exercise that agency and include Him in every aspect of your daily life, your heart will begin to fill with peace. It will help you to manage those challenges from an eternal perspective. He even goes on to say that “Family prayer should be a nonnegotiable priority in your daily life.”</span><span style="line-height: 32px;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="line-height: 32px;">When I brought my 3<sup>rd</sup>child home from the hospital I was a little worried about how I was going to handle life. I was told by my mom and a handful of others that adding that 3<sup>rd</sup>child can be a challenge. I had received in the mail that same day a wall hanging for my house with the scripture Philippians 4:13 <span style="background-color: white;">“</span></span><span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">I can do all things through</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">Christ</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">which</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> </span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">strengtheneth</span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> </span></span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="background-color: white;">me.” And that scripture is always a humble reminder that I have a choice to access that enabling power of atonement of Jesus Christ. </span><span style="background-color: #fefbbf;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="apple-converted-space"><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"> President Nelson said: </span></span><span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;">There is no amorphous entity called “the Atonement” upon which we may call for succor, healing, forgiveness, or power. Jesus Christ is the source.<span class="apple-converted-space"><o:p></o:p></span></span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">It is the Savior who paid the price for our sins and transgressions and blots them out on condition of our repentance. It is the Savior who delivers us from physical and spiritual death.<o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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<span style="line-height: 32px;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">I believe as you access that power it can help you change your perspective in the challenges in your life. You can look at each of them as an opportunity for learning, growth and development. You can be humbled as you trust in Heavenly Fathers plan. You can start finding beauty in those weeds when you have that power from the atonement of Jesus Christ to help. I actually started researching about dandelions because I questioned if they really were weeds or not and there is quite a few articles that talk about the benefits of dandelions to use medically for us or even being good for the soil. I learned that they aerate and condition distressed soil. When they die and decompose, they leave behind mineral-rich organic matter that nourishes the soil. So is Dandelion an unwanted weed or a beautiful healing flower that pops up in your yard? We don’t always find happiness in those hard challenges but when we focus our life on the savior Jesus Christ we can find lasting joy.</span><span style="font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16pt;"><o:p></o:p></span></span></div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-36175519997620314362019-03-10T14:52:00.000-07:002019-03-10T14:52:16.683-07:00Commit to "Try a little harder to be a little better"<div style="text-align: center;">
Its funny how the same thing seems to be coming up in my mind and I feel like I need to write it down maybe to help me recommit each time I have these feelings...or promptings might be a better word. I was listening to "The Scripture Study Project" podcast and such a strong feeling of how I am spending my time each day came up again. Since moving I of course have been so busy with just trying to stay on top of things with the house and the kids plus all the unpacking that I don't have much time to just relax or do anything without thinking and knowing of all the things I do need to get done. I think about how I can better spend my time with my kids and how I can better spend my time with studying the scriptures and words of the prophets because I know those are the two most important things right now. Trying to balance just those two things with the household chores and responsibilities is hard with trying to make sure I am not wasting my time on things I just want to do with sitting down and relaxing-specifically with social media stuff. I have a hard time because I do get so many good things out of social media that I enjoy and make me a better person so I don't feel like I need to completely cut that out but I also constantly question with the talk "good better best" coming to mind. Yes those things I am looking at or reading are good and theres nothing bad about it but is there better things to be doing?..But of course you could say yeah you could be reading your scriptures all day or any relaxing moment because thats the "better" thing to be doing. I don't believe that is realistic as well but I do have to catch myself and make sure I have at least read that and spent that time that day studying. Its such a hard phase of life constantly being needed by my kids that when I do have some alone time or time that I can just sit there for a few moment that quick easy thing I enjoy doing is to hop on social media. I don't feel like I have a problem with it by any means but I can admit I can find better ways to spend my time still-so I definitely have room for improvement.<br />
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Anyways back to some thoughts on the podcast-so they were talking about how Jesus Christ already paid the price for us to make it back to Heaven but we need to be born again. Meaning He has the power that He could do all the work for us but He specifically knew that we needed to put in some work and be tested to see what we would do. And it got me thinking about how yes I am not doing anything really "sinful" by any means but you can't just be good to make it to Heaven you need to be born again having a true conversion yourself. You can just sit back and "be good" if thats all you want out of life. Honestly its not that hard to be good at this point in my life. But it can be much harder to choose the not so easy choice of just coasting through life. I need to really start applying myself and choosing each day how much I want to grow spiritually. I have to choose how much I want to change. I need to act and not just be acted upon. (I learned that in an institute class and it really stood out to me cause I have always been one that would rather be acted upon because it is the easier route) I would like to try to recommit to "try a little harder to be a little better". And thats really all that matters that we are trying each day to be a little better. With the new church curriculum it is reminding parents that is it our job and duty to teach our children and it really has help to remind me that I need to be spending more time studying and teaching my children as much as that is the harder thing to do sometimes but I am grateful for the push that the church is giving us. So many "changes" President Nelson has been helping us do our duties better! Basically the recurring theme that I keep being reminded of is that its your choice of how much you want out of this life. You choose how much you grow and learn. You choose how converted you truly are. You choose every day to become a better person or sit back and let the days pass you by being that good person you are. Everyone has the potential to do more and be greater but its our choice of what we want to do that can make the difference. Sounded like I'm trying to write a motivational speech I feel like now ha! One thing I would like to work on right now is with that alone time I have at night once I put the kids to bed it is soon much easier to choose to relax and sit in bed on my phone and find myself staying up too late..most the time I am not necessarily wasting my time because I am doing beneficial things but I need to limit that time I do it and I am now wanting to commit to scripture study time (I hope with Jesse) from 9-9:30 every night (or around then). That will hopefully give me an hour from 8-9 to finish cleaning up or doing what I need/want to do after I put the kids to bed. Baby steps of becoming better and thats somewhere for me to start right now..and hopefully I can add more soon. The more selfless I become the better I will spend my time.</div>
Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-12767173212603990612019-03-10T14:46:00.001-07:002019-03-10T14:46:39.815-07:00Big Move<div style="text-align: center;">
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I am going to try to write the quick story to get us up to speed of where life is at right now. When we move down to Las Vegas Jesse said to me to expect to live there for about 3-5 years. At the time Corbin was about 21 months old and I was 7 months or so pregnant with Gavin. I was the most sad about leaving family and moving away but knowing we can sacrifice these years and see what the future olds for us. I was optimistic about moving but of course had the hopes of moving back to family. A year or two of being there is when I realized there could be a possibility of us moving somewhere else instead of back to Utah-different areas and state got brought up but nothing ever really serious just possible opportunities of job openings that could happen in the future. Jesse at one point even thought of just finding a completely different job and looking at other possibilities but those thoughts didn't last for too long-He went to the temple one time with the questions in his mind of what to do and got the answer of basically tough it out and stay. He shortly after got called into the Bishopric and he felt like that was a little confirmation to his answer he got as well. At a different later time when he was questioning again what should we do as a family he got the same answer of stay there and actually got put back into a new bishopric. Funny how God answers prayers some times. </div>
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Anyways the last few months the possibility of moving got brought up again and it was kind of one of those things where I just had to keep living life like we weren't because of all the other times I worried and started researching for no reason because nothing happen from it. Well we found out the week before Christmas that Jesse could have the job of managing 5 stores but we would be moving to Portland then. Jesse immediately felt good about it and was excited for the position and opportunity. I was in denial and didn't really let it sink in but also in a panic questioning is this really happening...because if it was it was going to happen quickly. I had no reason to question Jesse in this new position because I overall knew it seemed right but I did make sure he knew it was the right choice for our family because the big change of moving for me and the kids is a lot more overall for us then for him. I questioned if he would enjoy the job, if the pay really made a difference, if the hours and time with us would change, how life would be there for us as a family, schooling, being further away from family. So many things race through my head of course but still I had an overall feeling of this is the right choice.</div>
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Jesse had his last day of work in Las Vegas the week before Christmas and then we drove up to Utah and enjoyed the holidays with Family not thinking too much about the move. Jesse started his new position as of Jan 1 and he started flying to work and staying in a hotel and flying back home on the weekends. I started to slowly pack up the house. I felt like there was so many last minute things I wanted to try to do in Vegas before we moved because I felt like I didn't want to regret not doing things we could have. We were able to do a few things but not every thing I would have hoped for because all my kids got sick!</div>
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(So I got distracted with kids and never finished writing this-surprise! but thought I would try to quickly finish)</div>
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I surprise myself with how I overall didn't feel completely overwhelmed packing up the house kinda of by myself since Jesse was away working most the time-he was very helpful when he was home but I wanted to spend quality family time together doing things and not just packing with our time together. I feel overall very blessed that I was at an emotionally and mentally good state. I had so many people from the ward offer to help with watching my kids, bringing me boxes and food, and just being there for support. The week of moving of course was a bit crazy. Trying to finish packing up all that stuff that takes a lot longer than you think, me having a hard time letting things go and just getting rid of it, and wanting to spend more time with friends before we move. Moving day I had Courtney and Roxana come over to help as well as Aunt Nancy-she was so sweet to help us out and even bad goodie bags for the kids for the long hours of driving in the car-so grateful for her help! The day of moving and packing up the truck is of course stressful and emotional. As we were packing it up we realized not everything was going to fit so we either had to get rid of stuff or the other option was to pay more money and have our additional stuff in other truck which is what we ended up having to do because there was too much stuff left to just get rid of. (A family of 6 the stuff you have can definitely add up and I wish I could minimize a little better...I say once I am done having babies I can at least get rid of all those boxes of baby clothes that add of for each gender)</div>
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It took longer than we thought to pack up the trailer and get ready to drive ourselves-the plan was to leave early afternoon and drive around 6 hours--we had a 16 or so hour drive ahead of us. We didn't end up leaving until around 5ish and so we changed our plans and only drove a few hours that Thursday night. Friday we planned on driving all day and we basically were driving in the middle of no where up through Nevada and then Oregon. Friday night got a little crazy as we were literally in the middle of no where pitch black in a snowstorm! Lets just say I got a little tense driving and we had to drive quite slow in order to know we were staying on the roads and wouldn't slide off in the crazy snowy weather. We finally made it to our hotel much later than we thought but thankfully we made it there safely. The plan was to drive those few last hours Saturday morning and meet the moving truck by Saturday afternoon. </div>
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We started driving up a mountain Saturday morning and within 20 minutes it had snowed a good 3-4 inches-the weather was crazy. With Jesse driving his car we knew it wasn't the smartest idea to try to drive where we had no idea how the roads would be and we didn't feel safe. We turned back around and drove back to the hotel and sat there not exactly knowing what to do. I called the moving truck and had to let them know I didn't think we would be making it in time and they actually gladly rescheduled to meet the next morning. We knew we could take it slowly at that point and mapped out a different route we thought would be safer and knew eventually we would get there...and of course we did. We stayed an extra night in a hotel which probably ended up being better to be refreshed and really to unpack all of our things with the movers. Jesse and I both agreed we hope to not have to make that 20 hour drive with 4 kids and 2 cars in the crazy snowstorm again but it was quite the adventure and overall the kids did well-which I think having them be 2 and 2 in each car helped. I am grateful that Caden as a baby did overall well too or else that would have been more stressful having a screaming crying baby while driving.</div>
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I can't explain exactly how I feel about this move here but I just know it was the right thing as much as it is hard to move away from my friends and have this big change I just feel like good things are to come of it and I am grateful to know that even though I don't really know whats instore for us here. I feel sad to be further away from family but again I feel optimistic about this move and I feel like we will enjoy it here. I have always felt like I am pretty easy going and could probably be happy anywhere but my biggest worry moving to Washington is that everyone warned me about the rainy and gloomy skies. I didn't realize that I can suffer from a little seasonal depression until I moved to Vegas and realized how nice it is to have the sun all winter ( I think I will miss those mild winters there). The first week we were here it rained every day and we didn't really see anyone out-Corbin even mentioned how sad it seemed here because of the gloomy wet and no people around can really make you feel that way.</div>
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Jesse's mom, Jodie, was able to come out and help the week we moved here and I am so glad and grateful she did! It helped to get those essential things unpacked and feel like you could function somewhat normally. I was also able to go out and run some errands and buy a few things for our new house which can be quite difficult with kids. Having her help entertain the kids and doing the dishes was just what I needed to help make this transition smoother. </div>
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The first time we went to Church it was a little discouraging because it looked like our ward was an "older" ward and it made me question if there were many in my phase of life to possibly make friends with. Now we have been 3 times and I am feeling better about it. I also feel like I am in a phase of life where I am busier and don't need to get out as much as I used to with young kids. We also hadn't seen anyone in our neighborhood so I was beginning to question if this was going to be rough for my kids not to have friends around either...and that has changed now too. Our next door neighbors, The Frost, have two little girls 7 and 5 that have come over and played and the kids love to play with each other! </div>
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Jesse has been busy with work which is to be expected with starting a new position. I thought we would have a little more time as a family as far as him getting home a little earlier and being home on Saturdays which was a big perk to this new job and I believe once things get more settled we will and we can bond more as a family and that is something I am really looking forward to!</div>
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Things overall have gone very smoothly and I feel like we will enjoy it here especially as the weather warms up and we are able to get out and explore. This past week we were able to check out two trails by our house and we enjoy the outdoors together. I started the boys in baseball and I believe that will keep us really busy as well between that and soccer I might be crazy for signing them up for both but we will stay busy till summer! Thats not to say that we won't miss vegas and our friends but I am trying to stay positive and optimistic and choose to be happy here and what it has to offer! I am excited for what is in store here in Washington for us. </div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-71066381913205506612018-10-11T14:22:00.000-07:002018-10-11T14:22:03.838-07:00Busy? Distracted? How am I spending my time?..<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="text-align: center;">I listen to a podcast about how we are all "so busy" which of course we know if not a good thing. We have so many things on our "to-do list" that we go to bed unsatisfied because we can never get them all done. I love how this person pointed out that we need to be making priority list instead which are based and made around what kind of person we want to become or what is truly important to us or what our ultimate goals are. All the other little things in our lives are keeping us busy and distracted from what we really need to become. I love how this played into General Conference for me this year and it came down to for me back to the talk about "good better best"-there are a lot of good things to be reading and doing and spending our time and it really isn't bad but there are so many other better things and especially the best things that we need to make sure we are doing. I think so many times I justify what I am spending my time doing because I know it is not a bad thing-studying nutrition and trying to figure out what we should eat..of course that is a smart good thing to do but when it was taking priority over scripture study and I was spending more time reading articles that just left me sometimes more confused than educated and satisfied..and I am speaking about this as in last week I was doing this. I went into Conference even hoping for an answer (and I haven't been able to listen to every talk yet so I can still receive answers to questions) but one of them was "what should I be eating?" because I feel like it consumes so much of my time lately and it really is not a good thing. I do believe we should care and think about it enough that we are taking care of our bodies but I don't think I can ever find the "right" answer because there are so many different opinions and research and studies that its always changing. Like I said, this isn't a bad thing to be reading and researching but if its taking away from things that are better to be doing than it is. The Prophet, President Nelson, challenged the women to do a 10 day fast off social media. He recently did this to the youth asking for a 7 day fast and I kinda did it but I didn't have my whole heart in it so I am trying to do much better this time. I must admit I didn't really want to and again I tried to justify saying its my way of journaling but ultimately decided I can still journal but post them after the 10 days are up then. It already hasn't been easy but it is my go to when I want to relax or when I am stressed but a few minutes here and there really do add up and I believe I was spending a lot more time on there wasting away my time. I also listen to a different podcast about how are brains really do want that high we get from that instant gratification or hearing that we got a text or a notification or a "like" but really it is not feeding our true joy-its like a drug thats just hitting the surface and we want more and more of it. She even liken it to gambling with being addictive and that put it in perspective a little more for me. Again so many good things can come from your phone with keeping in contact with people or reading and the convienence of it with how quick we are able to do some things but it also can take away from the moment you are trying to live in.</span></div>
Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-65378621804344825642018-10-02T20:45:00.002-07:002018-10-02T20:45:56.347-07:00Grateful in all circumstances<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Oh man I think I am in denial that I am overwhelmed but at the same time I don't always feel like I am. I decided it came down to feeling overwhelmed with cleaning mostly. I just can't keep up with my children and the messes they make and cleaning up every meal. As far as my kids yes it can be overwhelming to meet their needs and hope they feel my love but it kinda goes back to trying to get things done so we aren't living in filth. I wrote this a few weeks ago (I believe in a text to my mom): </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I never thought mootherhood would involve so much peeing and pooping I have to deal with and it’s no exaggeration when I say I have to deal with it between my 4 kids at least every hour of my waking life right now. Gavin is still having issues peeing in pants, Mikaela potty trained herself but it still brings a good amount of messing especially cause I’m dealing with her having diarrhea right now and no I have no idea why...is it something she ate? Is it a food allergy? Or is it just a bug we are dealing with since Corbin has diarrhea yesterday too? Who knows? The guessing game isn’t quite working here to solve it. Between bowel issues and my eczema that I randomly broke out with which is causing my severe itching but mostly at night (like weirdly I have been working up at the 12 o clock hour 3 nights in a row now itching like crazy) I honestly have no idea what is going on or if we need to stop eating something because of allergies or intolerances or whatever but I’m so sick of worrying about food and if we are eating healthy enough because I sure know we are eating way healthier than a lot of people so I really just want to call it a good balance and not deal with it...but our bodies might be telling us differently I guess? I don’t know?! <span style="font-stretch: normal; line-height: normal;">😬😬</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">Sounds a bit overwhelmed you would say. ha! But thankfully I am feeling pretty good right now emotionally. So I decided to start a gratitude journal and write down 10 things that bring me joy throughout the day. It's a great way to focus more on those things that make me happy than the puddle of pee I stepped into. I love in Uchtdorf's talk that I listen to titled "Grateful in Any Circumstances" he reminds us </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">"</span><span style="font-family: inherit;">All of His commandments are given to make blessings available to us. Commandments are opportunities to exercise our agency and to receive blessings. Our loving Heavenly Father knows that choosing to develop a spirit of gratitude will bring us true joy and great happiness. </span><span style="font-family: inherit;">I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances--whatever they may be."</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;">I am unable to change that my kids are making constant messes and that they fight and complain and whine and make moments in life not fun to be honest but I can't do anything about that really besides try to teach them the best I can but in the mean while I can either be miserable because lets me honest its not fun to be around kids that tell you how mean you are every day but there are plenty of moments in my life that I find joy and my kids do bring me so much joy in the midst of the chaos so I am hoping by trying to focus my thoughts on all the good things--and some days it will be hard to come up with 10 things because some days are really hard but I believe we can always find good in every day in little small moments. But the chaotic, stressful, overwhelming, frustrating times deserved to be documented too so bare with me if I sound like I am complaining sometimes its more just to know I made it through and look back and laugh at how things were! ;)</span></div>
Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-28203223891501160732018-09-02T13:39:00.001-07:002018-09-02T13:39:11.229-07:00Showing love through sleep deprivation. <div style="text-align: center;">
Lack of sleep can really make me spiral down hill quickly into getting discouraged with things in life. Caden was not sleeping good these past two weeks (and nearly 4 months now of being woken up multiple times a night can really add up) but wow it can really make a huge difference for me when I don't get enough sleep. He hasn't been going more than 2-3 hours between feedings and he was waking up between 2-3AM and was awake for around an hour and wouldn't go back to sleep and then waking up around 5:30ish kinda like he was up for the day and wouldn't go back down then my other kids were awake almost always before 6:30. I can handle him waking up and me basically sleeping while feeding him but that wasn't happening. I questioned if it was a growth spurt because he would be gulping down each feeding and not falling asleep so I knew it wasn't for just comfort but I was getting a bit frustrated out of exhaustion knowing he should be able to go a little longer...seems to be a trend with each one of my kids though. I also decided when school was starting that I wanted to get into a better routine of eating a little better and starting to exercise more consistency since summer and traveling can make that a bit harder to stay consistent at. The combination at the wrong time just got the best of me and I was completely fatigued. I start to question everything I do and if its good or right or what I need to change when really sometimes its just slowing down and doing nothing for a day or two. And thats what I did and thankfully Caden has slept a little better and I was able to rest and am feeling better and not as discouraged. (And I need to remember to not over do it even though I think my body should and can handle things) But I also believe that is how we are humbled into things that do need to be changed and having priorities in the right place.</div>
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I definitely feel like I am being tested hard with how I react and am treating my kids. I loved that I was able to listen to someone who specializes is parenting I guess you can say (someone sharing things in instagram) but the things she was saying I felt like helped me understand that my children's misbehaviors usually come down to how I am parenting and something I can change. Not to put all the blame on them or all the blame on the parent but its never just their fault because they are still learning how to control their emotions and needs/wants and learning how to communicate and express themselves even though we expect them to be on a higher or adult like level. Usually when they are acting up its because they need more of our attention and thats of course something most people know but that can be really difficult and challenging when your exhausted and haven't been able to take care of yourself to be a good parent. I kept thinking over and over how we are suppose to model the behavior for them and I of course was not modeling good behavior when I am so tired and don't want to deal with anything in life-and as much as I can say this its still hard for me to apply it- but that is when I just need to tell myself to not care if we have a little more screen time or down time when those are the things that I usually feel guilty about but its better to do those things then to hinder my relationship with my kids when I'm acting mad or impatient and MY behavior needs to change. Corbin even told me "Mom I think we both need to work on patience!" he was referring to when I expected them to do exactly what I said when I said it because I was done waiting and only cared about when I could just have a break. (come brush your teeth right this very second and not wait for you to go put a toy in your room)</div>
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Sometimes its hard for me to break the cycle of being exhausted and upset with how my kids are behaving but it usually has to start with me in order for something to change. Yes my kids complain and whine often and over things that I believe most kids should not be complaint and whining over. (picking up after themselves, getting dressed, listening to me and following what I tell them to do...ok well when I write it out that is very typical of things that most kids are struggling with) Its definitely a trigger for me to get upset easily when I hear them whining--like a lot of parents. I saw a meme or something that was saying something along the lines of "young parents thinking they have it hard but just wait till the kids are older" and its probably so true as far as one day I will say dealing with whining and complaining is a lot better than dealing with teenage stuff or other trials that can happen with children. Its definitely a mental/emotional struggle that needs to be overcome to control the situation. I want my kids to know I love them and want what is best for them but sometimes I am so upset that I want them to just be in trouble which isn't the purpose I should be after-each choice they make can be a learning experience instead of a punishment I want followed through with. But gosh this parenting stuff can be hard...but I guess thats why once we are parents we always are so we have forever to work on these things...hopefully I can learn some of things sooner than later though. ;)</div>
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Sometimes I just need to remember to look at these little children I have and show them more love. I am glad I can be humbled to remember to treat them how I should and hopefully they can learn from my example and feel of my love for them (even when I am exhausted). I can't get too mad at a chubby cute baby!</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-58317533820528572242018-08-20T14:20:00.000-07:002018-08-20T14:20:01.601-07:00Caden's blessing weekend.<div style="text-align: center;">
Talk about filling your weekend with being busy. Friday night we had our ward BBQ and swimming-seriously my kids just love swimming...and food...but possibly swimming more. We went to bed a little later because of that but thankfully we didn't have to be at the airport too early. I have been wanting to get back into exercising but with our busy summer schedule and Caden sleeping next to me it makes it a little tricky to actually start back into running since he's usually up or needing me around that 6:00 AM time that I used to go running but Saturday morning I told myself I would since Roxana and Courtney really wanted to as well. Seems like Jesse tends to be busy with work stuff with the times I want to start back up but its ok Caden is only 3 1/2 months old and I have ran like twice-I have been trying to do workouts just at home but my eating needs to improve. (As much as I don't like to start thinking about how overwhelming it is to start knowing how to eat correctly..) </div>
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Anyways I slept pretty awful since I was so worried about making sure I fed Caden before I left so I wouldn't leave him with Jesse being fussy or at least do what I could to help that since he had to get ready for work. I woke up early and went running and it was hard but felt good to be able to go. Once I got home things didn't quite go as planned as far as thinking it was going to be a quick easy packing to go to Utah for one day. So when Jesse got home to leave to the airport I was a little behind with being ready but he was ok with leaving a bit later than what he's usually comfortable with. I tend to give him a hard time with being at the airport early). We get there about an hour before our flight is leaving which isn't bad but when we realized long term parking is closed and we have to go to economy parking we started to worry about time. We circling around the airport finding ourselves not in the right spot and than really starting to worry about time so Jesse dropped the kids and I off at short term parking and he went to go park the car and meet us. I wasn't too worried cause I knew security isn't usually too bad with kids cause you get to go in a different line. So we get through security and I call Jesse to ask what gate we are suppose to go to and I figured out I went through the wrong security area (it was for ABC gate and we were suppose to be at D) so at this point I did start to worry about making it on time cause I thought we would need to go to security again but thankfully we didn't. The kids thought the airport was cool with all the moving walking lanes, elevators, and then tram at the end so they were doing pretty good for me. We got to the gate and might have been one of the last ones on the plane but not late enough that they would have left us. ha! Kids thought flying was pretty cool so it went smoothly overall. When we got off the plane Corbin said surprisingly and happily "Its still morning?" He's so used to driving all day to Utah so he was a bit shocked that we made it there so quickly. Must say it is nice not to have to drive all day but don't get me started on how I was a little upset about having to pay for us to fly..it definitely adds up paying for 5 tickets.</div>
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We got to my moms to try on Caden's blessing outfit. She was really nervous about it fitting and being ok. She even fasted about making his blessing outfit the week before because we was worried about how it would all work out especially because she used to have someone live by her house to help her sew if needed. She is really happy about how she never had to use her seam ripper which is the first time she had never had to. It's a lot of work for my mom to make them since she only sews like every time she needs to make a blessing outfit and thats it but I am grateful that she can make these outfit for my kids extra special. Caden's turned out great!</div>
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My sister Candace was kind enough to watch my kids so we could go out to dinner with the Jensen's for Scotts birthday. I took Caden with us of course and he starting getting a little congested. When we landed on the plane he was coughing like something was bothering his throat but didn't seem sick or anything so then when he started getting boogery I worried a little bit more. When we picked the kids back up I was pretty tired and ready to go to bed and knowing we had 9:00 church for the blessings I was definitely ready to sleep. Caden woke up at 11:30 screaming and that was not normal for him. I tried to calm him down but he wouldn't and his ears seem to be hurting him possibly. So I put some oils on him and thankfully he was able to calm down a bit. I went back upstairs and tried to lay back down with him but within like 20 minutes or so he was pretty upset again but this time I noticed he was warm and had a fever. First time in his life being sick dang it. I was up most the night with him trying to make him comfortable enough to sleep and then I was finally able to lay down with him and get a couple hours of sleep...but I do not do well on little sleep.</div>
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I had to wake him up to get him dressed to go to church-I worried about taking him but he seemed pretty content and ok thankfully. But I can't tell you how much I do not like waking a sleeping baby and making it a sick sleeping baby is that much worse. :( He had been awake a while and was ready to go back to sleep right before it was time to bless him so I worried how he was going to do but thankfully he didn't fuss one little bit and Jesse was able to give him a sweet little blessing. Megan and Dallin blessed their baby girl Goldie as well right before Caden and then uncle Matt was able to give his homecoming talk. A family packed day full of great stuff. As much as I didn't really want to spend the money and fly everyone up just to Utah for just a day I am glad we could all be there for all of that! Caden was actually pretty pleasant for the rest of the day and was able to sleep well. I had a pounding headache and felt pretty awful by the afternoon but couldn't sleep well but thankfully got a small nap in. Our plane left at 8:40 that night so I was a bit worried about how all the kids would do-especially Caden since thats the time he wants to be put to sleep at night! But once again thankfully they did better than I thought! We got home late and sadly Caden was up again a good portion of the night not feeling well again! :( This is when life gets a little harder for me. Testing my patience and tolerance with my others kids. They are all pretty exhausted and tired....and grumpy. But we don't have anything for the next couple months at least not planned right now so hopefully we can start getting in a good routine with school, eating, exercising, sleeping..etc. First week was a little rough with school so I am hoping we will get in a good groove and my emotions can stay stable because as of right now I feel like I still have a pretty good attitude but I know it can be a rollercoaster especially lacking sleep...and not feeling well so lets hope we all stay healthy and Caden gets better quickly. </div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-73231987023986750332018-08-14T15:49:00.000-07:002018-08-14T16:45:21.780-07:00School Starting<div style="text-align: center;">
Well I knew it was coming..the chaos of mornings of trying to get Corbin off to school. I really do enjoy summer-yes my kids fight and sometimes they can be long days but overall I enjoy the freedom and being able to be spontaneous and do whatever we want kinda whenever we want. I don't enjoy being forced to a schedule. I like the freedom to be lazy when you want to be but be busy doing fun things all day as well. Kinda off to a rough start but isn't change always hard at the beginning? But honestly its more because of Caden and throwing off his schedule. He had a rough day yesterday because he was so thrown off with lack of sleep from being woken up. I hate waking a child up from a nap-especially when I know they would sleep a lot longer and need it. I knew at 3 months it would be getting harder cause they aren't so much in the newborn phase where they can sleep wherever/whenever. Sleep begets sleep they say..and he was not getting enough which then he slept awful at night and was up for the day at 5am. So then I become bitter towards school because it totally throws everything off. I am hoping Corbin won't come home as exhausted and grumpy as he did last year since he's a little older and now his second year of being at school all day. I have debated back and forth if he should ride the bus to school and if that would be easier for all of us..he doesn't really want to ride it but maybe once he does he won't mind it-I still would have to walk him to the bus stop so I feel like by the time I walk him to the bus stop and back its like a 20-even maybe 30 minute ordeal...but it could be better then packing all the kids in the car and getting them all out and the stroller and walking him into the school grounds..</div>
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Corbin seemed pretty excited about school but then again he doesn't love school. Being the second day of school and he was already saying he didn't want to go..because he got in trouble this morning though. And now I just got a phone call that he has a stomach ache and wants to come home but he didn't seem like he was in too much pain and I really don't want to wake Mikaela and Caden up from their naps cause I just laid them down 20 minutes prior to him calling. Hopefully I am not rude by telling him to go back to class and see if he can last till the end of the day. I had to question him if he had a bad day though and just wanted to come home because I could see that being a possibility too since he's pretty sensitive but he said nothing happened. He now has glasses that he just got last week and he was definitely worried about how other people would react to them. He doesn't like wearing them all the time and I worry its going to be a hard transition and a fight. I am just praying no one makes fun of him to make it that much harder on him. Everyone so far says they love them and he looks so handsome so I hope he can get more confident and not worry so much about what others think. He brought home a paper his first day that they had to write down what there first day jitters were (something they were nervous about) and he wrote "people making fun of my glasses"-it kinda broke my heart because I know kids can be rude but thankfully he said no one said anything about them. I think its a blessing that he was able to get them right before the new year and start out with them!</div>
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Anyways I am kinda back to that "I'm a bit overwhelmed" stage of the transitioning right now to 4 kids I guess-its always a rollercoaster though right? But it doesn't help that I had to take Gavin to the urologist this morning to try to find some answers to why he has those "episodes" of peeing frequently and having accidents all the time for those few days and then he's back to normal. (ya know happening for over a year now..but I really do think they are less frequent) Didn't get any answers today just a list of things I need to do--like foods to avoid and eat more of, log every time he poops and what it looks like and making him try to go after each meal, and set a timer for every 90 minutes to have him pee. And I'm like seriously? I have four kids I don't pay attention to every drink he has and every time he goes the bathroom...hes pretty independent and I don't keep and eye on that stuff all day long. These last few weeks I have been hounding him (Both him and Corbin) to flush the toilet after they go...now I have to tell him not to again when he finally was getting into a better habit of flushing it after he went...seriously talk about confusing the kid. They believe he could possibly be constipated but I was initially shocked when they said that cause he poops at least twice a day if not more usually. But he still could have "hard" poop being stuck in there they say...well enough "potty" talk...hopefully we get some answers...and ones we want to hear. I did say I would much rather take other potty issues over having him have diabetes so with his blood sugars coming back normal I'm hoping thats not a possibility. It does still make me question about foods we are eating and what needs to be changed there then..seriously every time I try to stop worrying about what we are eating I then have to again-it gets exhausting not knowing what we should and shouldn't eat. So do I cut out all dairy for all of us? wheat/gluten? is citrus foods irritating? I was already wanting to cut back more on meat. I try for us to be healthy eaters and stay away from sugar and all the crap food but theres so much more to "health" then just staying away from all that junk food even though I wish it could be simple...or maybe it is and I overthink it? But with Gavin having issues and Mikaela having all of her possibly food allergy issues with eczema and throwing up how can I not think about what we should and shouldn't be eating?..I really do wish I didn't have to feel overwhelmed about it. Hopefully it will get to that or maybe its a blessing in disguise so we can have lifelong health when others don't worry and think about it as much as I do and maybe they will pay for it later. Sure hope the stress of keeping them healthy eaters pays off and makes a difference.</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-59285614226055141242018-07-29T18:03:00.000-07:002018-07-29T18:06:30.263-07:00Adjusting to 4 kids.<div style="text-align: center;">
Fun fact: I wrote my first blog post exactly 8 years ago today (well now that was yesterday cause I didn't get to posting this)...or at least thats what Facebook memories told me. ha! I kinda think of it as the scriptures now I guess as far as sometimes within a chapter many years have passed by but they keep documenting..sometimes more than others. </div>
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So I get asked a lot how I am handling 4 kids..and to be honest I think within those first three months of a babies life they sleep so much that it isn't all that bad. Its mostly feeding and sleeping and changing diapers. They aren't too needy...yes I am up multiple times at night but I wish I could go back to me as a first time mom and tell myself to lay down and feed Corbin because it is just so much more efficient as far as getting rest...or sleep I should say. Yes it might be bad that I tend to fall asleep and most likely don't finish the feeding completely because we have both fallen back asleep and he wakes up sooner because he's hungry again but you do whats best to get sleep and survive. I remember waking up and walking to the other room and sitting up in the chair feeding Corbin and even sitting up browsing on my computer-I didn't even have a smart phone at the beginning. Like why did I do that to myself...all I know is that it wasn't good for me and I was definitely a lot more sleep deprived than I am now. Anyways what I was getting at is I feel like a newborn isn't as hard for me but I am a bit nervous in these months..or years to come when he is awake more and is more needy. Another thing that has saved me that I wish I could tell my new mom self is get myself a good wrap and wear that baby! Caden in all honesty is either on my in the wrap or in the swing and that is where he is usually pretty content. He would probably be a lot harder if I wasn't constantly wearing him and I don't mind it too much-but its sure nice to just let him sleep in the swing if he will and get a break.</div>
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So back to how am I adjusting to 4 kids..well I feel like its not too far from dealing with 3 kids because right now the other 3 kids are my main stressors. My mom always told me 3 was the hardest adjustment than after that it was all the same and I can agree with that thus far. Chaos is chaos right?! ha! Some days I feel like "yeah I totally got this...this isn't too bad" and others times I am definitely drowning is things I need to get done. Of course I don't get too many breaks and my list is never ending but I feel like I have an ok balance right now. I guess I am not too overwhelmed because this is what I expected. Do I wish I had more time to get things done..or even just feel caught up on things..of course but I feel like I can still get out with my kids and enjoy life. If I had to say whats the hardest thing about motherhood right now it would be dealing with my kids constantly fighting or complaining. We are definitely working on the being grateful thing. They fight over the usual sibling things like what toys they are playing with but they also fight over anything you can think of plus anything you would never think to fight over..from all wanting the same color of plate/cup/silverware etc to who gets to shut the door or even that the other person is just looking at them. I know they just fight over something just because they want to bug and fight over not because they really want it. ok I guess this sounds like other siblings as well..or I hope I am not the only one that has to deal with this insanity. ha! (thats a laugh and a cry) </div>
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But the moments (and yes moments) they do play together so well and cute it just makes my mama heart happy. Sometimes I want to point it out to them how nice it is when we all are nice to each other and sometimes I just let it play out and enjoy it for however long it last..sometimes not too long before something happens to stop it. But I do feel like these last two weeks since we have stayed home together they have bonded a little more with each other and I am seeing more moments and times of playing. It might be more when Gavin and Mikaela are doing what Corbin tell them to but thats just how kids usually play well together I guess. The other day Corbin and Gavin were singing "we are best friends.." and other things but then of course they would then shove each other into the couch but think it was funny. And I really hope they can all grow up being best friends and we can make these great memories together even though it may feel like they fight often they really do play with each other quite a bit too!</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-65849296368459941842018-07-17T17:06:00.001-07:002018-07-17T17:23:34.316-07:00Caden's Birth Story<div style="text-align: center;">
Well, I guess having a baby (and other promptings I have had) makes me need to start journaling again. I feel like the quickest way and most efficient way would be to do it on here for now-defeintely don't see myself hand writing it anywhere ha! Now that Caden is 2 1/2 months old I realized I never wrote his birth story down and it made me sad. Actually just life and how busy it is and the craziness makes me worry that I am not doing things I should so I am going to try to get priorities straightened out a bit with what is truly important through my exhaustion! ;) So lets see how much I can try to remember to document.</div>
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So I believe on Thursday or Friday I started having cramping and more braxton hicks contraction than normal and I was losing more of my mucous plug so I definitely felt like things were happening along. Starting that 39 week I was getting anxious to have him and just getting excited for labor. I for some reason was really looking forward to labor this time and was weirdly excited for it. I anticipated the pain to come but the empowerment feeling trumped it. I really thought I was going to go into labor soon and started looking at dates cause for some reason I tend to think what sounds good for a birthday..yes you can't choose the birth date but I like to think I can a little with Corbin..I like that his is 5/25 and Gavin's I originally didn't like that is was on 6/11 because I thought 6/12 just evened out better-so silly of me-at the beginning it sorta bugged me but then knowing my mom has only been in the room for Gavin's birth and her birthday is on 11/11 then I really liked it and I like that it is 6/11/16 so it goes together with the two numbers. Mikaela in 4/4/16 and 4x4 is 16 so it flows well. So with Caden I started thinking about the numbers and dates of what sounded well. I thought 4/28/18 sounded good because Jesse is on the 28th as well but then the weekend went by without having him and then I started thinking I wanted him in May anyways. Corbin really wanted to be twinners with May birthdays and since I allowed him to basically choose his name I thought it was cute that they could match with May birthdays too!<br />
I originally thought Caleb would be a cute name but Corbin was really against it for some reason and didn't like it (not that that would stop me from choosing it though) then later on I asked him what is wrong with Caleb and he said "I don't like the "leb" at the end" haha so I don't know if I said Caden or he did after talking about names but he then was set on his name being Caden. I have liked that name and Jesse and I weren't set on a name yet so we decided it was a good name. Plus I liked it so they he could go by Caden or Cade if he would like. Max, his middle name, comes from Grandpa Haws-Originally Jesse's cousin was going to use Max as a name but now the family was getting nervous the name wouldn't be used and Jesse has always liked the name Max for his Grandpas sake because he has always been close to his Grandpa. We couldn't use Max as a first name because we have our close cousin Max. When we were talking about what to name him we asked Gavin and he said "Smarshmellows" so Gavin has always called him that since in the womb and he still calls him that as well as Jesse and Mikaela occasionally. Or Jesse probably calls him "chunkos" those most. He has names for every child I feel like that he uses often-Corbin: "Corb-a-Lorbs" Gavin: "Gava-Flav" and Mikaela: "Babers"</div>
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Anyways I wasn't so worried about the date anymore as I was more mentally exhausted from guessing when he was going to come because I kept getting more contractions randomly at in the evening. Tuesday night I had a few and question if it would pick up but then nothing. Wednesday they started picking up in the afternoon again and I went to Young Womens that night and started having some pretty uncomfortable and longer contraction so everyone as well as I thought I would definitely be going into labor that night. So when I woke up Thursday morning (a week from when I originally thought I was possibly going into labor-which like I said I got a little anxious/excited about it) I was a little discouraged and then I just told myself May 4 would be good for "May the 4th be with you" for Star Wars since Corbin is into that so much or May 5 being 5/5 was good too so I knew any day was good.</div>
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I don't remember when contractions started on Thursday but I know Jesse texted me asking me "any signs" and I had my phone on silent in hopes to get some rest because I was pretty tired (which always makes you nervous cause you don't want to go into labor really tired) I told him I dozed off to be woken up from painful contraction but didn't think much of it at this point since my body seemed to not know when it wanted to go into labor. I was started to feel more pressure down there but nothing was consistent still. I text Jesse at work right before 6pm and said "I am feeling a little more like things might happen..possible haha its hard to know at this point. But I seem to be getting contractions around every 5 minutes but don't last very long. It of course can stop anytime like its been doing but thought I'd at least let you know" then told I'm no need to rush home because I was just making dinner. Then at 7:20 he still wasn't home from work but I was pretty exhausted at that point and contractions were more painful but not lasting very long or being consistent in how that felt. With the previous three labors once they started they gradually went and contraction got stronger and closer together and longer so I was just waiting for them to kinda go the same way but at this point I was pretty positive it was the beginning of real labor now.<br />
I was texting one of my counselors (Sis Weaver) in young womens because the night before she offered to come over if needed so she thankfully was a good person I could rely on coming and not having to worry about being too much of a bother. Around 9:00 I told her she should probably come over and I will just go to the hospital and walk around there if needed because I really don't like to labor a long time at the hospital because it gets harder when they want to monitor you. She got here around 9:15 and they were definitely getting more intense. Thankfully the kids were all in bed and we were able to leave and not worry about much. Then once we got in the car I feel like they started getting worse..I didn't know if it was because I was able to stand and rock back and forth and be in a position that felt best at home and in the car your a little more limited or if things were really moving along. The hospital is less than 15 minutes away but you could tell Jesse was getting a bit nervous. I had a really bad contraction and he panicked and said he would take the back roads because their are quite a few lights on St. Rose but I told him not to worry we will be fine...at least my water hasn't broke ha! With Mikaela I parked the car with him and walked in but this time I told him I needed him to drop me off and go park the car while I check in at the ER-you have to go through the ER passed a certain time. You gotta love when your trying to tell them information but your having a contraction so you can't really speak too well. Jesse came in shortly after and a nurse from labor and delivery came down to wheel me up to the floor. She asked me if I was dilated at my last appointment which was just the day before and I replied yes to a 4 and it was my 4th baby and right then she picked up the speed and knew we were in a hurry to get up there. We checked in at the nurses station on the labor and delivery floor at 9:39 and they took me back to the room and had me change into the gown (this was the first time they just took me to a room instead of checking me first to see if I was truly in labor etc). I came out of the bathroom and laid in bed and was feeling pretty good still for the most part and they checked me and I was at a 7. I told Jesse I was surprised that I was actually doing ok still cause every other time I was at that 7-10 range I was in really intense pain and the contractions were super close together that I didn't get much of a break in-between them..yes these were still painful but I felt pretty in control still. The nurse was asking me the normal questions they have to to admit you in and all of a sudden my water broke through that next contraction and she jumped up and knew things were going to go fast from there. She had already called my doctor but knew at that point he wasn't going to make it so they called for the hospital on call doctor but no time for him to get there either because I was ready to push that baby out. Thankfully another OB doctor (Dr. Lewis) was checking on their patient in the room next door and she kindly came in and helped. My contraction were still being kinda funny as far as they weren't lasting very long so she was trying to tell me to push but I told her sorry not yet I need to wait for another contraction. I felt the most calm I have with any delivery but still of course in a lot of pain-ring of fire definitely happened super bad this time because again I was pushing through that next contraction and he was coming out so she said to keep pushing cause he was all but there but my contraction had ended so my body wasn't helping it along as much and goodness that part hurt!! But still pretty quickly he came out at 10:03...so just a little over 20 minutes from when we checked in at the nurses station. It felt so empowering and I somehow can say I enjoyed the experience. Sounds a little crazy but when things go pretty smoothly I like that feeling of "I can do hard things" and having this precious soul come straight from Heaven right into your arms the endorphins have me enjoy labor. He laid on my chest as I delivered my placenta and then Jesse cut the cord after. This never gets old! :) Caden Max Jensen born 5/3/2018 weighing 7 lbs 7 oz. 20 1/2 inches long.</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-28858861303092076672017-04-21T15:59:00.001-07:002017-04-21T15:59:58.709-07:00The gospel gives me strength<p dir="auto">Well Ive always considered myself a pretty open and honest person and yes I'll admit sometimes too much but that's just kinda how I am. Since I've got back from my cruise things have been hard-and I've been definitely on an emotional roller coaster. I can't say specific things which sometimes makes it harder to admit that your struggling because you feel like you should have a good reason to be. I know I am very blessed and have little to complain about but sometimes you can't control how you are feeling emotionally and mentally. I spiraled downhill quickly and I was in a place I don't enjoy being as far as feeling sad, hopeless, negative etc. I hate how fast I can get there but also realize I'm blessed with how fast I can at least get out of it. My kids got sick and were extremely clingy and needy, there was definitely lack of sleep, little to no exercising happening, not eating the most nutrientally dense foods, and I was pretty isolated at home without my normal outings and being able to get together with friends. I wasn't enjoying life and I always want to be, I was feeling guilty about how I was acting and feelings I was having , I wasn't enjoying motherhood-when I feel like that's one of my most important roles right now, and I was just disappointed. I felt so unmotivated to do anything but didn't have the time to be able to do anything because I was holding a child every waking hour. <br>Anyways I hate to have to experience those times but know that's sometimes what I need. I needed to rely on my savior and feel of his love. I needed to feel that low in order to feel high! Like I said thankfully almost just as quick as I can go downhill I am able to bring myself back out of it. I definitely know what I need: I need to exercise, eat healthy, get out and socialize, and have some alone time, and most importantly right now have time to feel the spirit. Sometimes it's hard for me to want to sit down and read my scriptures when I'm so unmotivated and exhausted but if I just turn on a conference talk it can do wonders! It's been a neat experience to be able to listen to a talk or two of general conference as I try to get through it since I missed it. But it seems like every talk as spoken directly to me one way or another and it's just what I needed to hear that day-it's been such a blessing to feel love and comfort and to feel inspired by these talks. Even when I was feeling really down and cried for hours I was able to cry through a talk and feel how much my savior and Heavenly Father still love me even though I wasn't being how I knew I wanted to be. I want to be a happy outgoing person but it's ok when I'm not. <br>I feel very vulnerable writing down my feelings but I don't think many people read this so I'm doing it for my own good of being able to look back and know of the tender mercies that God gives me through hard times. Things have got a little better but it's still hard and I'm so grateful for the strength I have through the knowledge I have of the gospel!<br></p>Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-59221009164637988392017-03-16T14:25:00.003-07:002017-03-16T15:46:55.679-07:00What am I doing wrong?<p dir="auto">Ok this is totally me just needing to vent and write out how I feel in this stage of life. I have 3 kids 4 and under and life can get a bit crazy sometimes but I think I try to convince myself that I'm not stressed out about it cause I really don't feel like I am-when I think of stress I think of the pressure of trying to get things done that's too hard and you feel like you can't do it..which now that I write that out maybe that's really exactly what my life is still right now ha! Oh boy.</p><p dir="auto">I seriously don't know how these other moms do it as far as running a business, or selling something, or having a hobby or craft they do, etc...I can barely keep up on cleaning my house, doing the laundry, feeding my kids, etc. I do try to get out with my kids frequently because that's what's keeps us sane but how do these other moms have time for something other then just taking care of their kids and house? I can barely keep up with it...or I should say I don't ever feel completely caught up because any alone time I do have I'm pretty exhausted and just need to relax instead of getting to that list if stuff I should do--but ya gotta find balance..and I guess I haven't quite found the right balance yet. </p><p>I totally want to live more minimalistic so that I'm not overwhelmed with "stuff" but I find it really hard to get rid of stuff when I have 3 kids (and future ones...I question that more and more actually though) that I can still use the stuff for. I'm really not trying to compare too much I really just don't know how other moms have time for other things-what am I doing wrong? Or what should I do differently? I really have no desire to do much more I just want to feel like I am keeping up with what I have to do-I've had plenty of people want me to start selling things or whatever cause I feel like that's what just about every other person does these days but I have zero desire to sell something but I don't know where moms find the time to...are their kids being played with? Is there house clean? Something has to give right? Every time I finally feel like I'm caught up on laundry and the house is somewhat clean then something happens to cause me to get behind on it again. I try to get caught up just so I can get to more of the thing that need organizing or throwing out but when I put the kids to bed at night I'm pretty done myself and that's really the only alone time I get and some days I'm lucky to be able to get things done with my kids awake and other days I'm just cleaning up one mess then another and breaking up one fight then another. </p><p dir="auto">Maybe this "stress" that I'm denying is what's causing me not to lose weight-cause that's another thing I question what am I doing wrong? I exercise about 5 times a week and I feel like (and others tell me) I eat pretty healthy at least comparable to most people and I still can't lose weight but isn't that another "mom problem" ha ha just those things that you try not to care about too much but you can't help but have them bother you--I'm talking like having a clean house and losing weight. Ha! Then I try to tell myself that I should try to focus on things that are more important in the big picture-and that's where I hope to improve. I wish I had more time to do....you know what..I don't even know what I want?-I am happy with what I do. I want to be a mom and I wouldn't change it. I just don't want to be an overwhelmed mom. I want to be feel like I can enjoy life with my husband and kids and not feel overwhelmed with just keeping up. That is what I'm striving for right now. And even though I have a house to clean and loads of laundry (sheets/clothes with throw up on them from last night) that I need to do right now I felt like I needed to talk myself through this in hopes to help find an answer or solution. Or that I could look back at this in years from now and probably wish these were my only problems still.</p><p dir="auto">To be honest what it comes down to is I need to be better about choosing wisely how to spend my time-the talk by Dallin H Oaks titled Good Better Best. I might be spending my time doing good things and I can justify by saying this isn't bad. Or I could use some self discipline and be doing the better things! The "natural man" will always want to do the easier "good" thing if not the wrong thing all together. And that is one challenge I am having right now-making sure I can be more productive if I don't spend as much time on just the " good" stuff but focus on the better stuff. I believe I can be happier then (and not as overwhelmed)-because isn't that what we ultimately want is to find joy in this life. And Satan will deceive it even in the "good" things.<br></p>Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-28121104102673027422017-03-06T11:11:00.006-08:002017-03-20T14:11:49.534-07:00Things are looking better<p dir="ltr" class="" style="">Things are so much better when you have healthy kids. (please oh please lets continue feeling better) Seriously that is why I do care so much about being healthy (eating, sleeping, screen time)-sometimes I overwhelm myself with it which then its not so healthy but always striving for the balance. But my kids are so much better and easy going when they aren't sick-but isn't that how most kids are I guess? Some sit around and sleep while mine kinda do he opposite-they sleep awful and they are very needy and grumpy. But since we are now feeling better we have been able to get out and go to spring preserve, the museum, the aquarium, and parks and I am such a better mom when I can get out and I feel like my kids are much better as well. Plus the nice spring weather starting is definitely giving some happy endorphins...not that the weather here in vegas is that bad in the winter actually but just feeling that warmth of the sun is my favorite and we have to enjoy the "warmth" being it gets too hot to enjoy being outside ha!</p><div class="container editable image-container" style="transform: translateX(0px);"><em draggable="true" class="placeholder selectable editable image image-marker65 full" data-placeholder-preview="always" data-image-src="file:///private/var/mobile/Containers/Data/Application/509ACC8E-1E70-4C64-BF72-325B3F736D89/tmp/1489705070.jpg" data-image-align="middle" placeholder-width="326" placeholder-height="89" placeholder-small-width="89" src="file:///private/var/mobile/Containers/Data/Application/509ACC8E-1E70-4C64-BF72-325B3F736D89/tmp/1489705070.jpg" data-image-height="2048" data-image-width="1536" data-image-original-name="IMG_5114.jpg" data-platform="image"><em class="thumb"></em><a class="ui placeholder-settings" href="#" draggable="false"></a><em class="preview skrollable skrollable-between" data-top-bottom="background-position: 0% 55%" data-center-center="background-position: 0% 40%" data-bottom-top="background-position: 0% 25%" style="height: 89px; 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width: 326px; background-image: url(file:///private/var/mobile/Containers/Data/Application/509ACC8E-1E70-4C64-BF72-325B3F736D89/tmp/1490044152.jpg); background-position: 0% 30.52776082977425%;"></em><em class="actions" style="opacity: 0;"><em class="image-information" data-image-height="4032" data-image-width="3024"></em><em class="image-alignments"><em class="btn-alignment" data-align="left"></em><em class="btn-alignment" data-align="middle"></em><em class="btn-alignment" data-align="right"></em></em><em class="image-reordering"><em class="btn-reordering" data-reorder="moveup"></em><em class="btn-reordering" data-reorder="movedown"></em></em></em></em></div><div class="container editable image-container" style="transform: translateX(0px);"><em draggable="true" class="placeholder selectable editable image full editing" data-placeholder-preview="always" data-image-src="file:///private/var/mobile/Containers/Data/Application/509ACC8E-1E70-4C64-BF72-325B3F736D89/tmp/1490044157.jpg" data-image-align="middle" data-image-height="3779" data-image-width="3024" placeholder-width="326" placeholder-height="89" placeholder-small-width="89" src="file:///private/var/mobile/Containers/Data/Application/509ACC8E-1E70-4C64-BF72-325B3F736D89/tmp/1490044157.jpg" data-image-original-name="IMG_0079.jpg" data-platform="image"><em class="thumb"></em><a class="ui placeholder-settings" href="#" draggable="false"></a><em class="preview skrollable skrollable-between" data-top-bottom="background-position: 0% 55%" data-center-center="background-position: 0% 40%" data-bottom-top="background-position: 0% 25%" style="height: 89px; width: 326px; background-image: url(file:///private/var/mobile/Containers/Data/Application/509ACC8E-1E70-4C64-BF72-325B3F736D89/tmp/1490044157.jpg); background-position: 0% 29.310555216595485%;"></em><em class="actions" style="opacity: 0;"><em class="image-information" data-image-height="3779" data-image-width="3024"></em><em class="image-alignments"><em class="btn-alignment" data-align="left"></em><em class="btn-alignment" data-align="middle"></em><em class="btn-alignment" data-align="right"></em></em><em class="image-reordering"><em class="btn-reordering" data-reorder="moveup"></em><em class="btn-reordering" data-reorder="movedown"></em></em></em></em></div><p style="">And Happy news Gavin is officially potty trained and I can't remember the last accident he had so it feels good-I didn't really change anything just kept being consistent and hopefully he won't have anymore accidents! But I really do worry when either one of my boys will be able to wear underwear to bed..but oh well one of those things I am just not going to worry about too much because I really can't do much about it! Just happy I don't have to worry about poopy undies in public anymore!</p>Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-41119136668905132722017-02-26T11:03:00.000-08:002017-02-26T11:03:55.665-08:00Rough week.<div style="text-align: center;">
Just going to keep this post real--Wanna know one of the fastest ways to get me into a mental illness facility? Keep me coop up inside my house for over a week with sick, whiney, crying, complaining kids. haha ok well thankfully I am not on medication or in a facility but I felt like I was on my last straw of sanity. I do not do well with staying home for even a few days and then having sick kids who are very needy definitely put me over. It's one of my weaknesses, Ill admit that. I just don't do well with whiney complaining crying kids-and of course thats just what young kids do but I usually get out and at least go to the park or even just the grocery store to distract from the constant demands. </div>
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Mikaela got sick with a cold and then I figured out it was pink eye-I tried every natural thing possible to get rid of it and after a couple days of no signs of getting better and then Gavin getting it I had to take her in for some drops and thankfully I did so that I could get their symptoms under control and not be contagious. All 3 kids got pink eye and Corbin I'm pretty sure got an ear infection and Mikaela and a double ear infection. The hardest part was that I couldn't help them all when I wanted to. I would have one crying as I held the other and then would just switch and the other would cry as I held the other child. And the constant night wakings from each of them didn't help with the exhaustion. There was two nights in a row that I think we got woken up every hour from one of them.</div>
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And the fact that we got dropped off our "treats of the month" (from our young women fundraiser) I for sure consumed too much sugar as I was trying to cope with the demands and did a bit of emotional eating haha--no hiding my weaknesses. But that definitely did not help. (with the mental/emotional part and the waistline..) </div>
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A part of me thinks this is God's way of helping me be ready to leave me kids in a month for a week long cruise-ha! but seriously I was having a hard time thinking I would be able to leave my kids for that long since I have never before. But I believe I am ready for a relaxing break and Jesse and I definitely are in need of some good bonding time. The stresses of work and the stresses of young sick kids can put a toll on us-we've both been pretty exhausted. Every time I feel like I get a handle on things and I am in a sweet spot as far as with my kids I guess I need to be humbled...or just make sure I don't have too much free time to make sure I am focusing on whats really important. I just started trying to go through things and declutter and organize things better but when you have sick kids you are just happy to keep up with the daily cleaning. </div>
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Anyways things will get back to that sweet spot here this week...hopefully haha! Seriously some days are just laughable with how glamorous motherhood can be. But yes I still wouldn't change it--I just hope that I don't have to deal with many weeks like that. Gotta experience the rough ones to more fully enjoy the good ones! ;)</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik3PflJfYqkMw8tcQaK7uv3ByqUoF1ODKTD5yISeWSZkrTPrWXwxWzzDcPbEbWtkT2icEgKXcGNPTN0E5olXRIByXgVKlmkaQnu6wZaHghFAvszkM5roSR6_JkBx-H7OsOuQ03KoDStQ8/s640/blogger-image--1759294716.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEik3PflJfYqkMw8tcQaK7uv3ByqUoF1ODKTD5yISeWSZkrTPrWXwxWzzDcPbEbWtkT2icEgKXcGNPTN0E5olXRIByXgVKlmkaQnu6wZaHghFAvszkM5roSR6_JkBx-H7OsOuQ03KoDStQ8/s640/blogger-image--1759294716.jpg"></a></div>This picture sums up the exhausted sick feeling...it was awful looking. Poor girl. </div>
Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-8031981281832437782017-02-02T17:51:00.000-08:002017-02-02T19:09:06.249-08:00Life update<div style="text-align: center;">
Well I fell off the journaling on here...I believe I got behind on updating and then got overwhelmed and not finding much time because life got a little crazy there for a while. (maybe-hopefully- I can go back and document a few things like Disneyland and Thanksgiving and Christmas). </div>
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Honestly once Mikaela turned 6 months (October) things just got taken up a notch with the 3 kids thing. Up until then I felt like I mentally prepared myself that 3 kids was going to be hard and busy but I really didn't feel like things were that bad and I was able to handle it ok. At 6 months she got sick and I feel like since then she's been teething and sick and then being mobile/crawling all made things a little more complicated...and I guess humbling. ha! Seriously for 3 months I feel like she was a different baby and very very needy. She was crying all day and wouldn't let me put her down and waking up multiple times a night. She got a little stomach bug twice (once for a few days while at disneyland and the other was just a day thing) and a cold but I think the teething made it the worst. Her gums were swollen for a month and then within a few weeks 7 teeth popped through all at once and within a month she had 8 teeth that all cut through the gums and once they did I felt like she now is finally not miserable anymore. Since she has been mobile and crawling she's definitely getting into things more and I have to keep on eye on her at all times but she's also a threat to Gavin so they don't quite get along this last little while. They fight over everything and Gavin is very controlling of what he wants her to be doing and playing with. So when I could finally be able to set her down and she could be happy for a while then comes along brother to upset her and she would either get hurt from him or from throwing a fit. They fight over me and my lap and seems to be competing for my attention. But I can understand Gavin and I believe its just an age thing and he'll get better here soon.</div>
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Speaking of Gavin being the middle child right now and with his pretty content personality for the most part (well at least up until now) I think between Corbin and Mikaela he's definitely been needing to compete for attention and has been acting up a bit. He still is very sweet but wants to be in control. He wants to help out but on his terms. He loves to be silly and goofy but also test his limits with how much he can get away with. He struggling with sleeping lately and fights it especially at going to bed at night. Naps with him are very unpredictable. He will fall asleep in the car before noon somedays and others days he will fight naps till after 3. Then if he takes late naps he's up late at night (like 9:30-10 and I can't force him to sleep) but if he avoids a nap all together he's pretty out of control from around 4-5 on. Oh the joys. Also the whole potty training this last month has been a roller coaster. I was kinda forced into potty training because he was acting like he really wanted to but also started to just take off his own diapers and that wasn't pretty. I have been taking a laid back approach because the 3 day thing I tried made it worse when I really focused on it and he was having more accidents now he'll go days with not having any accidents and then bam he acts like he doesn't know how to again. Super frustrating because I feel like we are too far into it as far as he knows how to all by himself and does great but if I put him back into diapers at this point it will be all confusing. I really didn't want to force potty training and I would say we are 75% there but I'm pretty sick of him pooping in his undies-I kinda wonder if its a control thing again but I am at that point I'm not sure how long it will take and hope to stop having accidents here soon. He still has his sweet side and loves to cuddle and wrestle or any physical touch!</div>
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On to Corbin. Lately he has been so good-really sweet and obedient for the most part. He seems to really want to listen and obey and please us. Of course he's still a kid and gets upset when he doesn't get what he wants or when siblings are bugging him but he does fairly well with learning how to control his feelings and talking about it instead. I feel like all my hard work and consistency is finally paying off with him and it feels so nice to see that he can be so good and sweet and that maybe I am doing something right ha! I also think its unfair that finally when he's starting to be easy and fun all the time that school will take him away from me. Gosh I'm having a really hard time thinking he will be gone all day at kintergarden come this fall but I am going to enjoy these next 7 months with him before he's gone most the day at school and take advantage of our free time of not having much! He loves his preschool and is doing really well with it. He goes to preschool 2 days a week for 3 hours at an income preschool my friend, Mrs Brittany teaches. You can tell he's not so into arts and crafts right now but I feel like he's excelling in reading! He's definitely motivated by having fun and asks us what fun things did we do while he was at school cause it worries him that he missed out. He's obsessed with star wars and legos right now but also loves building trains and blocks and still has a love of playing with cars. Its fun to see his imagination grow and be able to play by himself with his little legos. He likes to dress up and act things out as well. He keeps saying he wants to be a police man and chef when he grows up. Lately he likes to pretend to be a chef and make meals with me.</div>
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My kids definitely consume my life and sometimes I feel like I need something to do but really I don't have much time to do others things when I do get alone time I need to read (only my scriptures because I still don't totally enjoy reading) or just relax. I really want to start staying on top of journaling-with writing but also with the many videos and pictures I take. At the beginning of this year I felt like I didn't want to try to set any goals with having to eat or exercise really good but I wanted to be able to find a good balance between being healthy and present with my kids. I really want to "dehoard" (not a real word I believe) all the unneeded things and focus more on simplifying and closer to minimalism--that will definitely be a process though even though I would love to get that down over night ;)</div>
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January overview: we went to the Seaquest aquarium, took lots of baths for fun, went to parks a few times even though it was chilly but nice to be able to go still, went sledding up at Mount Charleston, lots of playing at home--the boys seem to play really well together lately which is nice, we went to the chiropractor (all of us), Mikaela slept through the night for the first time in her life (not getting up once in the middle of the night to feed) and half way through January she finally seems like she's ok again, Ruth's Chris date with just Jesse and I, changed to 1:00 church..definitely not my favorite, Jesse got a new calling in the high council, Grandpa Eddy and Candace and Vince came to visit and we went to the Japanese steak house and the museum!</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-20533494376135252702016-09-16T09:28:00.000-07:002017-02-02T17:55:34.630-08:00Grand Canyon and Bearizona<span style="color: rgb(69 , 69 , 69); font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"></span><br />
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<span style="color: rgb(69 , 69 , 69); font-family: "uictfonttextstylebody"; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Jesse told me on his day of-Wednesday-that he would have the following Monday and Tuesday off because of Labor Day and then needing to switch his day off to Tuesday that week. I immediately thought well we need to take advantage of that and do something! I don't hate being home but I do enjoy getting out and doing things more than just cooking and cleaning and staying home! I knew we couldn't go too far because we wouldn't be able to leave until after church on Sunday. There's not a whole lot within a few hours of Vegas when I started looking. We had just been to St George and the beach (that would have been a little too far and Jesse doesn't love the beach anyways) we thought about doing a staycation type thing but I still wanted to go somewhere (cause you can always do an overnight staycation) </span><br />
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I decided to go to Williams Arizona because there is the Grand Canyon train that I thought the boys would enjoy instead of sitting on the car even more and in there car seats. But the only downfall was that it would take longer to get there because the train isn't as fast. The boys were super excited to go on the train ride but yes it would have been nice if it was a little shorter of a ride (it was a little over 2 hours long) but they did have some entertainment for us like a lady coming and playing songs on an accordion and singing and on the way back a guy sang with his guitar. They had a fake robbery with the Cowboys-their was a little skit/show they put on before we got on the train and the Cowboys needed money for breakfast. When we got to the Grand Canyon we just walked the trail along the rim and had lunch and ice cream. Gods creations are quite amazing! It was Jesses first time seeing the Grand Canyon but I really want to take him to Havasupai Falls or somewhere else and hike in the Grand Canyon (of course without the kids)</div>
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The next morning we went swimming for a bit then went to Bearizona-which is a drive through zoo type place that has different animals to see close up like bears, sheep, wolves, deer, etc. Then you can go walk around and see more bears, foxes, porcupines, otters, jaguar etc and they have a little farm area that you can go in with the chickens, ducks, and goats. They boys fed the otters fish and we watched a bird show where they flew literally right over your head-the wing even hit my head a little bit.</div>
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I thought it was s fun little get-a-away and see new things. Going on trips is not always easy with kids but I definitely think it's always worth it to make memories! I feel like if I don't tough it out then I'll always be waiting till it will be an easier or better stage of life to do things-so as long as it's safe and possible I like to get out as much as we can. And the fact that Corbin starts preschool I feel like that's just the beginning of our freedom of doing whatever we want whenever we want being taken away. (I mean with Jesse working that makes it hard to do family vacations but doesn't stop me from taking the kids places if he says it's ok (; )<br />
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-52761076737829919702016-08-29T15:41:00.002-07:002016-08-29T15:41:31.135-07:00Away from home<div style="text-align: center;">
These last few weeks flew by with us being gone so much! We first went to San Clemente and camped on the beach with Grandma Eddy (Lezlee) and her daughters Candace and Mckenna (Burnell). My Dad wasn't able to go because of work but originally they had planned it as a family vacation. Candace, Curtis, and Vince came to our house Sunday and then we drove together to San Clemente State beach on Monday. I might be a little crazy for camping with 3 kiddos 4 and under but I don't like to miss out of fun for me and them. They did surprisingly well with the sleeping part so I can't complain. Monday night we had some partiers which my kids slept through but I didn't as well. Tuesday night we had skunks hang out around our camp but thankfully didn't spray and I woke up Wednesday morning with 100's of ants in our tent haha Sadly Gavin got a really bad diaper rash there from food I believe he ate just irritated it plus sand in his diaper wasn't a good combo! Going down to the beach with 3 little ones (especially a baby) can be rough though with how much you have to pack down and bring back up but I would for sure do it again! We all had fun and memories were made and that is what is important to me! They loved jumping waves, catching little crabs in there buckets, and eating smores (thats what Corbin said his favorite things were). On the way home Wednesday it took us a couple extra hours besides the road got shut down because of a big fire and I was grateful Candace and Curtis were with me as I drove up a mountain on whindy road and didn't feel like I knew where I was at all! ha And Mikaela pooped 4 times in the way home so that made for more stops then planned.</div>
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Thursday we woke up early and drove to Utah. My kids actually did surprisingly well in the car (they weren't the best on the way to Cali) they must know to be better when I am all by myself. We were all excited to go to Utah though (like we always are) but it went by so fast because I was busy helping my mom gets things ready Thursday evening and all of Friday. Friday at 9:00 pm Matt came home from his mission! Pretty exciting time! We are so glad he is back home and safe and served a good 2 year mission in South Korea! So proud of him!</div>
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Saturday we spent the day preparing for Sunday-shopping and making food. Then going out with the family to dinner together! Sunday was all day with the family-I always love to see my extended family, definitely doesn't happen as often anymore! Papa Oram was so good with entertaining the kids the whole weekend!</div>
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Monday we drove down to St. George but stopped in Beaver and ate lunch and had ice cream (we had ice cream a lot this trip lets just say), then stopped in Kolob Canyon to do a little hike(gorgeous views). Tuesday we went to Zions and Courtney and I took the 6 kids on a hike up Emerald pools. We got a few stares thinking we were crazy, some saying way to go, and we got asked if we were twins a few times, and we don't doubt that some maybe thought we were lesbians haha! Gavin was running ahead most of the time and did not run out of energy. Corbin was saying he was tired 100 yards into it but then once we were in the shade he did well till the very end again where him and Ella were drained. </div>
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Jesse came up Tuesday night and had dinner with us then Wednesday morning the boys went golfing and we went to Sand Hollow in the afternoon! I love that place--because like I have said its like a mini lake powell and the weather was pleasant and water was warm!</div>
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We ended up staying an extra day because they (my mom, matt, and Christopher) were suppose to hike the Narrows Tuesday but the flood warnings were too high so they did it Thursday instead. We took the kids to the park, lunch, then the splash pad. So I felt like we were go go go all week long (kinda how I like it though)</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-74926697040682168822016-08-26T12:07:00.001-07:002016-08-26T12:07:08.816-07:00a little life update/Mikaela is 4 months old<div style="text-align: center;">
wow time sure goes by fast with you have 3 little ones! (and life just gets a little crazier) But I keep saying that having one child and transitioning into motherhood was a lot harder for me than having 3 kids! Life is good...I feel like I got the hang of things for the most part. haha I mean my house is never cleaned but I would rather go out and do fun things with the kids than clean....and when I am home I am just cleaning one mess after another. (some days I just get frustrated that I never see the result of cleaning because it doesn't last long) </div>
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We came home from Utah and I have been wanting to go back basically the week we got home because I don't feel like much goes on around here when its so hot. We (well I) try to keep busy doing things because I can only handle being home with them so much before I feel too isolated from everything--and then I miss family and feel alone. Yes I have plenty to keep myself busy so I am not necessarily ever bored because my list is never ending but I have always been one that likes to be around people. We have been going to Spring Preserve, children's Discovery Museum, Kangamoo indoor playground, swimming/splash pads, I took the kids to a $1 movie-whatever to keep us busy! I am enjoying this phase of life where we don't have any commitments that I have to worry about or have to be home by a certain time or anything--I know that will change in the next year or so when Corbin is really in school. He starts his little preschool in a little less than a month now where he will go 2 days a week for 3 hours. So for now we do whatever we want whenever we want.<br />
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As far as Mikaela, well she still isn't sleeping much at night..some nights are worst than others as far as how much sleep I get but she tends to just end up in bed with me because thats how we both get the most sleep. The last 2 weeks or so she has been fighting naps and doesn't nap for long and I think the whole sleep begets sleep isn't going for her very well. But thankfully I am getting enough sleep for the most part so I can handle it usually-and hopefully she will figure the whole nap thing out and then sleep longer stretches at night. I can't quite figure out how she wants to be rocked to sleep so usually she finally gets to the point she's so exhausted she gives in. And you never know if something is bothering her or if she is just overly tired sometimes but she has been more needy and fussy but thankfully not hard to calm down...basically wants to be held a lot more now recently-glad a have a few carriers! ;) So over all I would still say she is a happy content baby just not as much as she was before but I am not complaining-she still goes with the flow pretty well and doesn't stop us from doing things!</div>
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She's our "sweet princess" as I have heard Corbin call her a few times lately. Having a girl is definitely fun and different from a boy! The boys love her and sometimes even fight over her-but they love to try to play with her. I got her ears pierced at her 4 month appt and think they are super cute even though I know that can be controversial being done so young but I of course thought it was a good idea getting it done sooner than later! And dressing a girl is so much fun! :)</div>
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She has started rolling onto her tummy anytime I lay her on her back but then gets frustrated after a few minutes and doesn't want to be laying down on her belly anymore! She is definitely more interested in everything around her and grabs anything within reach. I can't tell is she has started teething or not because I don't feel anything but she of course puts everything in her mouth. </div>
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She is still our happy smiley Mikaela that we love so much!!<br />
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-86127410342086273202016-07-18T17:28:00.003-07:002016-07-18T17:37:10.383-07:00Utah--Blessing and farewell<div style="text-align: center;">
We went to Utah for 12 days and it was great! My birthday, the 4th of July, temple, blessing, and farewell--so we were definitely busy!</div>
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We (the kids and I) drove up July 1 because Matt was going through the temple on Saturday July 2 (my birthday). Jesse flew up after work on Friday. The drive was ok..Mikaela struggled a little bit but nothing too bad really with having 3 kiddos! Saturday I woke up early and went and ran the trails with my momma! It was wonderful to be up in the mountains and as much as running is hard sometimes I really do love it when I am with my mom. Ran came as well even though he ran ahead of us most the time. Candace met us half way through as well. I accidentally tripped and landed on a rock and cracked my phone screen sadly (and scraped up my arm and bruised my palm)-but wasn't going to let that ruin my day even though waiting at the apple store to get it fixed and worrying about phone problems isn't fun! But I ended up going out to lunch with my mom right by there then rushing to the temple session as my mom watched all 3 kiddos and I left Mikaela for over 4 hours-she did great for my mom though even though I was nervous about it.</div>
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The temple was such a great session since its hard for us to go now with a breastfeeding baby and just 3 kids so I was happy to be able to go but it was special to be able to have all the Jensen siblings and spouses all together with Grandma and Grandpa! Such a great feeling being all together!</div>
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Sunday Brooklyn and Chris blessed Caroline so we were with the family all day. </div>
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Monday was the 4th of July and it was go go go all day! We woke up early and went out to the plain city parade so the kids could ride on the firetruck then went over to the carnival real quick so they could catch a fish...which really it was me catching the fish for all the kids haha! But I had a great time doing it! Then we rushed over to the Kaysville parade after! I tried to get my kids to take a nap but they weren't going to have it so my Dad and Lezlee and Candace and Brooke and families all came over to the Jensens and went swimming for a while. We went over to my moms for fireworks and popcorn in the front yard! Corbin was getting tired and asked Grandma to tinkle him and he was out within a minute!</div>
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Tuesday I was able to go see my friends Kylee and Kallie and hang out for a bit even though at that point my kids were already quite sleep deprived so they weren't the most pleasant but I was happy to get together with them for a bit!</div>
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Wednesday we were able to go to Cherry Hill with my friend Anna Lloyd and Hailey. Sadly they had to leave after about 1.5 hrs so I stayed a little longer with just me and my 3 kids but Gavin was getting tired and it was rough to do things with all 3 of them. I was wanting to go back with just Corbin later that night cause he loved the "dragon slides" but it just didn't work out. (definitely would have some Cherry Hill passes if we lived there though I really think my boys would love it)</div>
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Friday I was able to go see my friends Chelsey and Natalie which I haven't seen in a long time. We all have added a child (or 2--me) to our families-it was nice to be able to catch up a little bit with each other. After I went and hung out at my moms the rest of the day since she had the day off. She needed to work on Mikaela's blessing outfit basically the whole time but we were able to chat and spend time with each other at least.</div>
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We did lots of swimming and just playing around with cousins! The boys were in heaven and love being there!</div>
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Sunday July 10th we blessed Mikaela in Jesse's parent's ward because it was Matt's farewell talk as well! Jesse gave a beautiful sweet blessing and she was wearing the beautiful dress my mom worked so hard on!</div>
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Monday we hung out at the house again and that night Matt got set apart as a missionary. It was so neat to be able to sit around after and listen to everyone give him advice and talk about their missions.<br />
Tuesday we drove home...corbin cried in the car for a good 45 minutes because he didn't want to go back home. At first it was really heartbreaking because I know he loves being around family so much but you could only take so much of his crying when you can do nothing about it. We did stop in St. George and let them play at the splash pad and ride the carousel though!</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-13583580080450800672016-07-17T18:15:00.000-07:002016-07-18T17:40:45.091-07:00Mikaela is 3 months old<div style="text-align: center;">
oh man, I really need to keep updated on this a little better besides just monthly updates on Mikaela. I'll try to get to posting other things as well--but thats what instagram is for ha! </div>
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Oh my little Mikaela! She melts my heart and I am definitely in love with this beautiful baby girl of mine! She has gotten a little more vocal with cooing but is still a pretty content quiet baby. Well actually to be honest from month 2-3 she had a bit of a rough patch. I thought it was from her having her vaccines done and not feeling well because it was from that day on that she was a little more fussy and fought sleep and just wasn't her content self. She really hated the car..and still doesn't love it but is getting better. She would cry all the time in the car though. She naps in the swing all day long and does pretty good with that. (like I said for a while there she was definitely fighting sleep a lot which was frustrating) She still wakes up plenty at night..I don't even keep track really but I know she does one longer spurt at the beginning but in the early morning she is up a lot and then just ends up in bed with me cause I fall asleep and she sleeps better right by me. But sometimes its just once at like between 12-2 then up again at 5ish. usually something around 2 times but is up around 6 if I don't feed her again out of being lazy and tired and not wanting to be up.</div>
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She has been the smiliest baby and is happy if she is fed and sleeps enough! Just how babies are suppose to be right! :) She smiles at her brothers and Corbin loves it and makes sure to tell me mom she's smiling at me even when he's yelling in her face...</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-80540837123479916292016-06-15T11:10:00.000-07:002016-06-15T11:11:55.108-07:00Mikaela is 2 months old<div style="text-align: center;">
oh goodness I just can't keep up with stuff. I told Jesse I feel like I always have a million things I could be doing and then I asked him "do you ever feel like sometimes you have so much to do that your unproductive because you can't get any of it done?" His reply..."uh no I don't try to do multiple things at once" haha ok that is just laughable as a mom. But on my list are things like of course cleaning the house, laundry, organizing...but also like blogging/journaling, making blog books, making videos of all the videos I take and things like that. I just don't have time to get to all of it and wish I could. And of course I feel slightly bad for not documenting as much but such is life unless I really kept up on it.</div>
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Anyways on to Mikaela...which my mind is blank right now. Mostly I can't skip out on sharing the millions of pictures I take! ha! But overall Mikaela is a good baby-she is pretty chill if she is fed and rocked to sleep when needed. She is a binky girl now-needs it to help sooth her to sleep. A part of me likes it cause it really helps the other part I cringe because I don't think she can fall asleep without it right now! (either that or being fed of course) She feeds every 3-4 hours mostly...and that is day and night. She does her one "long" spurt at night and then wakes up around 12:30-1 then lately its been around 3:30 again and then sadly she's been in a bad habit of waking up for the day around 5:30--she needs to understand that is too early but isn't getting the hints when I ignore all her grunting. haha (but I have been just getting up around 6am to go running 3 days a week now) then she finally goes back down around 7-7:30. </div>
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She loves to nap in her swing or I should say thats where she spends a lot of her time because she sleeps so good in there. Sometimes it seems like she gets frustrated when I try to rock her cause she can't get comfortable and so I just put her in the swing (with her binky of course) and she tends to fall asleep just fine. This last little bit she seems to not like the carseat but I hope she gets used to it as I will be driving to Utah and back in July and August.</div>
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I love to dress her and of course enjoy bows in the hair! It looks like her hair could be coming in lighter but her color is so pretty (and thick) right now. She has been a way smiley baby for me. She makes me feel good when I walk up to her and she just smiles away once she sees me. She actually likes to get her diaper changed and is super smiley right after. She seems to really like the bath as well and I love how her hair curls up in the water. We sure Love our Kaela Bug (wow I have never typed that out and really don't know how I would spell that but that is what we call her often haha)</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-89619534100846209322016-06-14T08:54:00.000-07:002017-02-02T09:28:29.413-08:00Corbin's 4 year questionnaire<div class="MsoNormal" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt;">
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #292929; font-family: inherit;">I can't believe Corbin is 4! Seriously I had to prepare myself for like 6 months. The thought of him turning 4 just seemed like he was getting too old for--maybe the fact that it is usually the official age they would be in preschool (if they didn't already the year before which Corbin did not) so that fact that he is "starting school" just makes him seem older...but I know kintergarden seems more official as far as starting school. But being 4 also means your officially really not a toddler anymore. It is definitely fun to see him grow up, have his own opinion, be able to really talk and have a conversation with him, watch him explore and learn, etc. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #292929; font-family: inherit;">He is definitely a fun kid, loves to be goofy/silly, and also gets very passionate about things as far as once he has his mind set on something its hard to convince him otherwise.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="color: #292929;">I was looking for some type of questionnaire I could ask Corbin </span></span><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;">because I think its fun to look back on what their favorite things are at this time in their life--even though I feel like he's going through a stage where is kinda says everything is his favorite but just meaning he really likes it a lot. So I think some of our answers would be different from each other as far as how I would answer if for him but some I definitely know we both know what his favorite is. And everything day these answers could vary.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="color: #292929;">1. What is your favorite color?</b><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;"> green (completely obvious, I think he tells me that everyday)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "times";"><b>2. What is your favorite toy?</b> trains, </span></span><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;">superhero</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>3. What is your favorite fruit?</b> apple</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>4. What is your favorite show? </b>nursery rhymes on youtube</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "times";"><b>5. What is your favorite thing to eat for lunch?</b> "squishy oranges" </span></span><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;">mandarin oranges (he ate them today)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>6. What is your favorite outfit? </b>"comfy clothes" right now meaning a t-shirt and basketball shorts-he strips down and changes his clothes often into this</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="color: #292929;">7. What is your favorite game?</b><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;"> shooting game on wii (just played it with dad)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "times";"><b>8. What is your favorite snack?</b> circle cheese (or recently I would say "squishy oranges" for sure which are </span></span><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;">mandarine oranges)</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #292929; font-family: inherit; font-size: xx-small;"><b>9. What is your favorite animal? </b>elephant </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>10. What is your favorite song?</b> peanut butter jelly</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>11. What is your favorite book?</b> I love you forever (I would say Wacky Wednesday or Parts lately)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>12. Who is your best friend?</b> Addie and Lyla</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>13. What is your favorite activity?</b> play legos with dad</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>14. What is your favorite thing to do outside?</b> ride my bike really fast</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="color: #292929;">15. What is your favorite drink?</b><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;"> spicy drink (ugh..he hardly ever drinks this so I don't know why is said that)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="color: #292929;">16. What is your favorite holiday?</b><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;"> Halloween (completely obvious!)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>17. What do you like to have with you in bed at nighttime?</b> night light</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>18. What is your favorite thing to eat for breakfast?</b> oatmeal or cereal</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>19. What did you get for your birthday?</b> johns incredible pizza, Gavin said "cupcakes", superman, hulk</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b style="color: #292929;">20. What do you want to be when you grow up?</b><span style="color: #292929; font-family: "times"; font-size: xx-small;"> be a dad, cook food for people</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: xx-small;"><span style="font-family: "times";"><b>21. </b></span></span><span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><b>What are you scared of</b>? "monsters-yeah like monsters eat blood"</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><b>22. What makes you happy</b>? swimming and wrestling</span><br>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #1d2129; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><b>23. What makes you sad</b>? when Gavin pushes/hits me</span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "san francisco" , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><b>24. What is mommy's favorite thing to do?</b> play alligator, wrestling, play with me</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #1d2129; font-family: "san francisco" , , "blinkmacsystemfont" , , sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit; letter-spacing: -0.23999999463558197px;"><b>25. What is Daddy's Favorite thing to do?</b> play games with me</span></span><br>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-47759147673905244012016-05-14T18:22:00.000-07:002016-05-14T18:22:18.604-07:00Mikaela is 1 month old<div style="text-align: center;">
Well I guess each child you have the time goes by faster because you are busier with the other kids as well. To be honest I kinda laugh about things I worried so much with Corbin but I must say he was my hardest baby so far and the fact he was my first and just learning how to be a mom in general made it harder. I'm definitely more laid back and don't stress about the little things as much. I'm used to being home all day by myself with all three of them and sometimes I really do question how I kept busy with only one child but as we have heard before we always feel like we are maxed out but we can handle what Heavenly Fathers knows we can at the time. But I'm glad by the 3rd I feel like I have the hang of it better! ;)</div>
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On to update about Mikaela...or I should say just how things have been the first month of her life. She has been a good baby so far and I sure hope it continues! :) She pretty content for the most part and isn't too demanding-with her brothers needing me so much its a good thing! She feeds every 2 hours day and night and maybe a few times has gone longer but not more than 3 hours! She's pretty fast too so I am really glad I can feed her quickly when needed. It seemed like she would only half feed and fall asleep a lot of the time-and you really can't force her if she doesn't want to or if she's too tired-but she seemed to go the same length between feedings so she just did her own thing! I feel like anytime I did try to force more she just threw up (happened twice right before bed and had to change my sheets and clothes) Of course she's still in the newborn phase and sleeps a good amount. Some days she needs to be held more than others to actually sleep but the swing has been great and so have my wraps to carry her in. We stay busy doing things with the boys and she's been good about going out!<br />
She spits up but I'm crossing my fingers that she doesn't start to more! It will be nice not to have a child with reflux! But I do have plenty of burp clothes stored up now...but I'll still just hope she doesn't spit up much!</div>
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Just about every morning between 5-6 she has a long (sometimes around an hour) episode wear she just grunts and grunts and seems a bit frustrated but most of the time her eyes aren't opened. Occasionally she will cry a bit but mostly just squirming and grunting. I'm half awake and get to the point I try to ignore it and go back to sleep but I believe once she either passes gas or poops she feels better and goes back to sleep or I feed her back to a deeper sleep cause it's just that time to feed again.</div>
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I'll have to admit that we basically co-sleep. She starts out in a rock n play on the side of our bed but sometimes I fall asleep when feeding her laying down and next thing I know she's awake for the next feeding but most the time I get her back in the rock n play for a little bit before the next feeding. I get the most sleep this way and keep my sanity! Oh I wish I could tell my new mom self this instead of torturing myself and making me wake up and walk to the other room feed in a chair and fall asleep with a kinked neck. This way I can stay half asleep and I'm not dying from being so tired! I am the worst at night! The first two weeks when she would poop multiple times at night it was so hard for me to get completely out of bed and change her diaper-I can hardly function at night...I've always been that way and definitely need my sleep!</div>
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We definitely love all her hair! It's a beautiful color and so thick! I hope it stays the color-it's a beautiful dark brown but you can definitely see red in it especially outside in the light! But it will probably change a little bit at least. Of course everyone comments on it! I've gotten asked so many times if my other children had that much hair-Corbin had quite a bit and Gavin was basically bald so she definitely wins! I still like her in a bow always because she can still look like a little baby boy with matted down greasy hair ha ha! It's definitely fun to have a baby girl with a lot of hair though! I hope it doesn't fall out or get a bald spot in the back! She has already pulled her own hair-sometimes when she reaches her arms above her head her little hand will grasp her hair!</div>
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The boys have been really good with her so far! No scares yet and I hope they continue to be careful! Gavin is usually the one to ask to hold her and loves to then Corbin wants a turn after! Gavin tends to call her baby and genuinely shows that he cares about her and worries if she's crying. Corbin has been a good helper and makes sure Gavin doesn't get too close to her at times. If I have moved her somewhere they tend to ask where she is but for the most part they still do their own thing.<br />
We loved having visitors and I really think it helped with the transition. The boys needed a lot of attention (and still do) but I was sure glad to have help!<br />
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1 Month Old!</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-52713115092002326382016-05-01T17:20:00.004-07:002016-05-01T17:20:49.241-07:00Mikaela's Birth story<div style="text-align: center;">
Well I guess I would start with how the whole pregnancy I really questioned how accurate my due date was-since they had to go off measurements! I asked my doctor a few times throughout just to get his opinion and he always said I was measuring on for the due date they gave me. Some days I felt huge and thought I will definitely go early and other days I questioned that I might go over my due date when I was feeling pretty comfortable. When it came down to the week of my due date I kinda assume that it would follow the pattern of my other two pregnancy and I would go a few days before. My Dad, Lezlee, Candace and Curtis and Vince all came down to visit for General Conference weekend since it was a good time to be able to get off work and not have other responsibilities. They knew there was a possibility that I wouldn't have her by the time they got here but then I just thought in my head--"well I can just put myself into labor once they are here if not..." and I really didn't worry about it. (since I was kinda able to have the other two when I wanted I assume I could if I really wanted to again...yes I know I needing some humbling done haha)<br />
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The week before they came Gavin got Hand foot and mouth--and I kinda freaked out! I was really stressing about who would watch the boys because I had already lined up some friends for when I went into labor but they all had kids and with it being so contagious there was no way I would want their kids to be around it and get it as well. Gavin broke out pretty bad-thankfully he only had a little fever for a few hours then the next day he was super clingy and just wanted to cuddle cause you could tell her wasn't feeling the best but besides that it wasn't that bad-just the stressing about not knowing what to do with the boys! Thankfully again I had my options as far I called my relief society president and she said they could figure stuff out if needed but still...<br />
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So then my feelings of wanting to have her before my family all came switched to hoping she stayed in till they got here! They came Thursday night and Friday I was officially in "get myself into labor" mode-even though I really didn't care for her birthday to be April 1st..for many reasons. So Friday passed and I wasn't super disappointed but now worried if I would go into labor while they were here. Saturday I even went running with the double stroller-I mean I didnt run further than like 400 yards at a time but we did go on a 4 mile round trip walk to the park! We went out and ran errands for a couple hours that night-and the only thing it did was make me feet hurt and make me tired! Sunday morning was my last tiny bit of hope but I was pretty defeated at that point knowing they had to leave early afternoon but I did try bouncing on an exercise ball...but nothing at all was happening. So we had to say goodbye but Candace reminded me Vince came the day after I left Utah even though we tried to put her into labor so I couldn't be there as well. I was probably most disappointed for their sake but they came to just visit with us as well and we definitely enjoyed them here!<br />
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I decided 4/4/16 4/5/16 and 4/6/16 were all good birthdays and I was going to be happy with those...or my mom was coming Friday and I secretly knew the whole time she was kinda hoping I didn't go into labor-she didn't want to miss out...and lets me honest I kinda knew she wanted to be the first one to meet her! ha! ;) She was disappointed that she couldn't come earlier but she had finals for school so that was the earliest she was able to come.<br />
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Monday morning my friend, Laurie James, invited me over to her house so she could do my nails! (which was super nice of her and I was happy to have them done before I had her) As I was getting ready to go over I definitely felt different and even text Jesse that I was getting closer because of how I was feeling-no contractions but something felt a little off I guess you can say. As I was getting my nails done I went down hill kinda quickly as far as my body started aching and I felt a little nauseous. My back and legs were aching and I kinda felt like I was getting the flu. Candace had told me Vince threw up in the car on the way home (which she thought he just got car sick) and my first thought was "shoot, I am getting the flu or something" I started to worry about being sick while in labor. She finished my nails and I apologize that I had to leave right after because I started getting the chills and just felt awful! I went home and was completely exhausted! I grabbed a blanket and went outside to sit in the sun-which is was about 80 degrees outside but I was freezing! I laid there not even being able to move much because my lower back and legs were just aching so bad! I felt bad because it was lunch time so the boys were hungry but I seriously felt like I couldn't move or do anything so I just let them eat whatever they could grab-which really we don't have much easy access food-they grabbed cheese and apples-Corbin was even worried that I didn't wash his apple but I told him its ok this time haha! (I looked at the time this snapchat was taken at it was 11:23)<br />
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I hadn't felt this awful in a long time and I was worried about going into labor because I was completely exhausted and felt like I could barely function! I got an awful headache-I don't get headaches very often but it was really bad. I knew it was partly from not sleeping very well the night before and clenching my teeth because of lack of sleep. I laid on the couch and Jesse said he could come home from work and help get the boys fed and down for a nap. Gavin sadly passed out on the ground and I just let Corbin play the iPad as I was in and out. Thankfully Jesse was able to help us and I was able to go lay down and rest a little. I told him to go back to work so that he could finish anything up just in case I would need him again. I was able to find a comfortable position laying down but if I moved or tried to stand up I was in a lot of pain. I kept having the feeling that maybe she was just coming down more and hitting a nerve or in the wrong place and causing my legs and back to hurt. I then realized I could be having back labor-I read up with how some people said they couldn't really feel contraction in the belly because the pain in the lower back was constant. I realized my belly was contracting but I wasn't feeling anything painful. I got on all 4 and rocked back and forth for a while. Thankfully after my little nap I was feeling a little better as far as not completely exhausted. Jesse came back home around 4:00 but what was bothering me the most at the point was the pounding headache. If I walked around too much then my legs and back would ache so then I would just lay down again and I would try to notice if anything was happening but it would just stop when I laid down. But then I kinda wanted to speed things along because at this point I knew I was in the beginning of labor since I was having contractions but since they weren't painful I knew it would be a while unless I tried walking around to get things going more.<br />
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Around 5:30 I decided to finally call labor and delivery to see what their thoughts were because I was actually contracting around 5 minutes but again nothing painful-my other two labors once they started the gradually got worse and I knew I was for sure in labor. But I mostly called to see what they suggested for the headache that was causing me to not be able to function and if I should worry about that (I knew a headache was a sign of high blood pressure but I also was pretty sure that wasn't my problem since my BP was normal the whole pregnancy and I usually get headaches when I clench my teeth) Of course they had to tell me to be safe to just come in and get checked--I didn't really like that answer because I didn't want to labor at the hospital and I knew since my contractions weren't painful that I didn't want to go in yet.<br />
<br />
I was texting my friend Roxana who volunteered to watch the boys when I went into labor that I didn't know what to do! It was close to 7:00pm at this time and I did't know if I should assume that I would go into labor during the night and just bring the boys over to her house to sleep or just wait and call her and have her come over in the middle of the night. I decided to just put the boys to sleep at our house because the contractions weren't completely regular or painful. (even though I did have contractions around 3 minutes apart at one time--but I could walk and talk through them and no one would know I was really having a contraction)<br />
<br />
By 8:30 I was in bed and knew if I laid down they probably would be inconsistent again or maybe even stop. (I know plenty of woman that have contractions consistently and then they just stop for weeks before they have the baby) At this point I thought it would be nice to get some sleep and go into labor in the morning. I was still trying to time the contractions but was dozing off. If they were strong enough to wake me up then I would time them (I had an app on my phone). I dozed off and around 9:35 I woke up to a pop down there and I said "uh oh" as I jumped out of bed! My water had broke! (I must say that is a weird feeling!) I hurried and went to the bathroom and before I know it Jesse was on the phone with Roxana and told her to come over right away! Jesse was a bit worried because with both Corbin and Gavin my water had broke as I was pushing them out so in his mind he freaked out thinking the baby was going to be here in the next 5-10 minutes! She was over at our house within just a few minutes and we left right to the hospital. In the car the contractions definitely got a lot more painful and I knew things were progressing along now for sure! ha! (I definitely couldn't talk through them and was in pain)<br />
<br />
We had to go through the ER and Jesse pushed me in a wheel chair through the hospital and up to the labor and deliver floor. Between each contraction we were still being jovial-but Jesse admitted that was his way of getting though it because labor really makes him anxious and he really doesn't like it. We checked in at the nurses station around 10:10ish. I got undressed and they checked to see if my water really did break-which of course there was no denying that as far as it wasn't a little trickle of water that came out. They told me I was dilated to a 4. WHAT!? ONLY a 4! My first thought was well bummer I really didn't want to labor at the hospital long because I hate those stinking monitors on my belly! As they were getting my IV in and everything ready the contractions were getting really intense. They questioned if I wanted an epidural but Jesse assured them that I had the two previous babies natural with no epidural but I was a little nervous with how painful they were getting! I knew if I already did it two times before I could do it again--but it sure is hard to reassure myself of that in that moment. I was going to try to walk to my assigned room but then decided a wheel chair would be best when I hard painful contraction came on.<br />
<br />
We got to the room and they were setting everything up. I am GPS positive (group B strep) and so they had to get antibiotics started--which honestly I really didn't want those as well and partly why I didn't want to labor at the hospital. I had two nurses because one was training. The one nurse left to go get the antibiotics I belief and so it was Jesse and the training nurse. She was trying to get me to answer some question and then sign some papers but the contractions were getting closer together and that was the last thing I wanted to do when I was trying to make it through them. A really painful contraction started and Jesse was trying to comfort me...and then it wasn't stopping it just kept going. Not going to lie, I started moaning pretty loud and then my body started bearing down. The nurse was like "uh no no don't bear down! breath!! blow out candles!" I tried to "blow out candles" but my body just kept bearing down. She then decides to check me and looks up and says "call the doctor!!" I was crowning at that point (Jesse later had to tell me that he could see the head--and he was not expecting or really wanting to be right there in the action...and I joked saying "yeah you don't have to tell me I could feel it!!" ) On the way to the hospital he even asks me kindly-"is it ok if I sit down in the corner if needed" I knew he has a hard time with this and that was totally fine with me. But at that point he didn't really have a choice.<br />
<br />
I had about 4-5 nurses rush into my room and they told Jesse to grab my leg. The bed had not even been taken down (no stirrups in position or anything) and next thing you know through that next contraction she was out! (they did have to cut the cord real fast as she was coming out because it was wrapped around her head) As the nurse said "she came out swimming still" because she kinda came shooting out...but that doesn't mean it was necessary easy. I am not quite sure at what point the on-call hospital doctor came in since she was a women and was dressed the same as the nurses but she help me deliver my placenta and then my doctor arrived shortly after that to stitch me up. So just about an hour after arriving to the hospital she was born at 11:09pm that Monday night with a full head of hair!<br />
<br />
Mikaela Kim<br />
7 lbs 11 oz 20 inches<br />
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the next late morning the boys came with Jesse and met their sister. They both love to hold her and kiss her! They are really sweet to her! (but don't really need more than a minute of it ha!)</div>
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The day after she was born all she wanted to do was nurse all day long! If she wasn't nursing she was screaming and only would calm down if I nursed her--I was a bit worried about how it was all going to work with three kids now and if she was going to be a really hard baby! Thankfully I was at the hospital alone with her so it was possible to do that but thankfully the next day she wasn't like that!</div>
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The next morning we were thankfully able to leave..and of course the boys had to go see the fountains before we went home!<br />
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We love our sweet little Mikaela!</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5866579580358310298.post-85301878863072597222016-03-20T21:37:00.001-07:002016-03-21T07:46:32.140-07:00Baby #3<div style="text-align: center;">
Well...I should maybe write a few things about this pregnancy before I have her! 2 weeks till her due date...crazy--but I think I am ready! Jesse not so much just cause he's so busy with work (last day of a show today)...but some times I wonder if it really makes a difference..ha! (he's always busy) Anyways I feel like I haven't wrote anything about this pregnancy-and maybe I have and just forgot. </div>
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So I found out I was pregnant right before I went to Utah back in August or September I belief. I never actually had a period after finishing breastfeeding Gavin around the year mark (in June). With Corbin I got my period back around 6-7 months but it wasn't consistent so I was really surprised that I got lucky and never had one. I did worry about getting pregnant though but thankfully it didn't take too long!:) So with no period I can't really say when I for sure got pregnant I was taking pregnancy test every so often in hopes I was pregnant once we starting trying but I don't know how long I was actually pregnant when I got my first positive so we had to just do measurements at the doctors to have a estimated due date.<br />
So of course I couldn't keep it from my mom too long and then Candace and Courtney figured out when we went on the Narrows trip because I was around 6 weeks along and a little nervous about how I was going to feel-energy levels and nausea and everything else. I got lucky and all that fun stuff started the week after I got home so I believe I was around 7 weeks where exhaustion and feeling pretty crummy all the time hit. It lasted till about week 14.<br />
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I thought it would be fun to keep it a secret for a while since we live in Vegas and its not so obvious with how I'm feeling and looking ha! (but half my family already knew) So at 14 weeks we went to an ultrasound place to see if they could figure out if we were having a boy or girl and we were getting quite anxious to tell Jesse's family and the rest of mine. I was in complete shock when they told me it was a girl! Super excited but in complete denial because I was pretty certain I was having a 3rd boy! Jesse and I both had the feeling we were having another boy and I thought it was Heavenly Fathers way of not letting me be slightly disappointed or worried about getting a little girl. I joked with Jesse saying we are going to keep having kids till I get a girl because I just can't imagine not having one-especially with my mom and I's relationship. The ultrasound tech said she was 100% sure it was a girl--but not being my doctors office I still questioned it but tried to believe it! ha! At my 20 week ultrasound it was confirmed it was indeed a girl and from then on I have been enjoying buying girl stuff! I am totally a thrift shopper and love to find good deals on clothes! I can't get myself to buy full price when its so expensive for baby clothes. Baby girl clothes are definitely fun to buy and might be a little addicting but I feel like I have done pretty good not to go overboard--and I figured I saved quite a bit my getting second hand things. Now lets hope she grows on track cause I've bought 0-12 month stuff now! :)<br />
I told multiple people that I might be one of those moms that just feel good pregnant. During my second trimester I feel like I am the most emotionally stable. I have learned, over the last couple years, more about nutrition and other things which I do believe helps but I think breastfeeding and my hormones really are hard on me and I fight the fact that I struggle with feeling emotionally balanced while breastfeeding. I realized since we got married that I was on birth control for the first year--made me totally not myself and emotionally not stable--then after finally getting that out of my system I got pregnant with Corbin, then I breastfed for the year, then got pregnant with Gavin, then breastfed, then pregnant again--I wonder when I am done having kids how my hormones will be and how I will feel haha. I am really praying that I will feel ok after this baby and not be so up and down. When I look back I really think I might struggle with a bit of depression but nothing too extreme more of lack of motivation and a bit of anxiety of feeling like everything is overwhelming-even the small things tend to feel just overwhelming and hard...but I am pretty sure the hormones and lack of sleep have a lot to do with it.<br />
So overall again I can't complain about this pregnancy too much-I would say that I have had probably more aches and pain than the other two here and there...and I do have a few more stretch marks but being the 3rd pregnancy that doesn't surprise me. She tends to get in weird positions for a day or so where I get super uncomfortable and feel huge but then its like she moves back in and I feel normal and fine again. So somedays I feel like I must be further along and I might go early and then there are other days where I don't feel that big and now I question if I will go past my "due date".<br />
I tend to snap chat a lot of random belly pictures mostly to my mom--and I started doing it as a "bun in the oven" type picture-so I have a good amount in front of the oven. haha most these pictures are quite lovely...I figured I should start saving some to have documentation...or I should take some better pictures which would be a better idea ha!<br />
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My friends Roxana and Kate threw me a cute baby shower a few weeks ago! It was fun to get together with all my friends I have made here! And Roxana is the queen of throwing a party or shower and does the cutest job decorating!<br />
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Brittany Halterman, Jen Jones. Jennifer Nolan, Danielle Swint ,Roxana Anderson, Kate Brown, me, Anna Doyle, Lisa Pike, Katie Foote, Tiffany Welch, Kristina Cox</div>
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Marissa And Jessehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13864554989252253241noreply@blogger.com0