Adjusting to 4 kids.

Fun fact: I wrote my first blog post exactly 8 years ago today (well now that was yesterday cause I didn't get to posting this)...or at least thats what Facebook memories told me. ha! I kinda think of it as the scriptures now I guess as far as sometimes within a chapter many years have passed by but they keep documenting..sometimes more than others. 

So I get asked a lot how I am handling 4 kids..and to be honest I think within those first three months of a babies life they sleep so much that it isn't all that bad. Its mostly feeding and sleeping and changing diapers. They aren't too needy...yes I am up multiple times at night but I wish I could go back to me as a first time mom and tell myself to lay down and feed Corbin because it is just so much more efficient as far as getting rest...or sleep I should say. Yes it might be bad that I tend to fall asleep and most likely don't finish the feeding completely because we have both fallen back asleep and he wakes up sooner because he's hungry again but you do whats best to get sleep and survive. I remember waking up and walking to the other room and sitting up in the chair feeding Corbin and even sitting up browsing on my computer-I didn't even have a smart phone at the beginning. Like why did I do that to myself...all I know is that it wasn't good for me and I was definitely a lot more sleep deprived than I am now. Anyways what I was getting at is I feel like a newborn isn't as hard for me but I am a bit nervous in these months..or years to come when he is awake more and is more needy. Another thing that has saved me that I wish I could tell my new mom self is get myself a good wrap and wear that baby! Caden in all honesty is either on my in the wrap or in the swing and that is where he is usually pretty content. He would probably be a lot harder if I wasn't constantly wearing him and I don't mind it too much-but its sure nice to just let him sleep in the swing if he will and get a break.

So back to how am I adjusting to 4 kids..well I feel like its not too far from dealing with 3 kids because right now the other 3 kids are my main stressors. My mom always told me 3 was the hardest adjustment than after that it was all the same and I can agree with that thus far. Chaos is chaos right?! ha! Some days I feel like "yeah I totally got this...this isn't too bad" and others times I am definitely drowning is things I need to get done. Of course I don't get too many breaks and my list is never ending but I feel like I have an ok balance right now. I guess I am not too overwhelmed because this is what I expected. Do I wish I had more time to get things done..or even just feel caught up on things..of course but I feel like I can still get out with my kids and enjoy life. If I had to say whats the hardest thing about motherhood right now it would be dealing with my kids constantly fighting or complaining. We are definitely working on the being grateful thing. They fight over the usual sibling things like what toys they are playing with but they also fight over anything you can think of plus anything you would never think to fight over..from all wanting the same color of plate/cup/silverware etc to who gets to shut the door or even that the other person is just looking at them. I know they just fight over something just because they want to bug and fight over not because they really want it. ok I guess this sounds like other siblings as well..or I hope I am not the only one that has to deal with this insanity. ha! (thats a laugh and a cry) 

But the moments (and yes moments) they do play together so well and cute it just makes my mama heart happy. Sometimes I want to point it out to them how nice it is when we all are nice to each other and sometimes I just let it play out and enjoy it for however long it last..sometimes not too long before something happens to stop it. But I do feel like these last two weeks since we have stayed home together they have bonded a little more with each other and I am seeing more moments and times of playing. It might be more when Gavin and Mikaela are doing what Corbin tell them to but thats just how kids usually play well together I guess. The other day Corbin and Gavin were singing "we are best friends.." and other things but then of course they would then shove each other into the couch but think it was funny. And I really hope they can all grow up being best friends and we can make these great memories together even though it may feel like they fight often they really do play with each other quite a bit too!

Caden's Birth Story

Well, I guess having a baby (and other promptings I have had) makes me need to start journaling again. I feel like the quickest way and most efficient way would be to do it on here for now-defeintely don't see myself hand writing it anywhere ha! Now that Caden is 2 1/2 months old I realized I never wrote his birth story down and it made me sad. Actually just life and how busy it is and the craziness makes me worry that I am not doing things I should so I am going to try to get priorities straightened out a bit with what is truly important through my exhaustion! ;) So lets see how much I can try to remember to document.

So I believe on Thursday or Friday I started having cramping and more braxton hicks contraction than normal and I was losing more of my mucous plug so I definitely felt like things were happening along. Starting that 39 week I was getting anxious to have him and just getting excited for labor. I for some reason was really looking forward to labor this time and was weirdly excited for it. I anticipated the pain to come but the empowerment feeling trumped it. I really thought I was going to go into labor soon and started looking at dates cause for some reason I tend to think what sounds good for a birthday..yes you can't choose the birth date but I like to think I can a little with Corbin..I like that his is 5/25 and Gavin's I originally didn't like that is was on 6/11 because I thought 6/12 just evened out better-so silly of me-at the beginning it sorta bugged me but then knowing my mom has only been in the room for Gavin's birth and her birthday is on 11/11 then I really liked it and I like that it is 6/11/16 so it goes together with the two numbers. Mikaela in 4/4/16 and 4x4 is 16 so it flows well. So with Caden I started thinking about the numbers and dates of what sounded well. I thought 4/28/18 sounded good because Jesse is on the 28th as well but then the weekend went by without having him and then I started thinking I wanted him in May anyways. Corbin really wanted to be twinners with May birthdays and since I allowed him to basically choose his name I thought it was cute that they could match with May birthdays too!
I originally thought Caleb would be a cute name but Corbin was really against it for some reason and didn't like it (not that that would stop me from choosing it though) then later on I asked him what is wrong with Caleb and he said "I don't like the "leb" at the end" haha so I don't know if I said Caden or he did after talking about names but he then was set on his name being Caden. I have liked that name and Jesse and I weren't set on a name yet so we decided it was a good name. Plus I liked it so they he could go by Caden or Cade if he would like. Max, his middle name, comes from Grandpa Haws-Originally Jesse's cousin was going to use Max as a name but now the family was getting nervous the name wouldn't be used and Jesse has always liked the name Max for his Grandpas sake because he has always been close to his Grandpa. We couldn't use Max as a first name because we have our close cousin Max. When we were talking about what to name him we asked Gavin and he said "Smarshmellows" so Gavin has always called him that since in the womb and he still calls him that as well as Jesse and Mikaela occasionally. Or Jesse probably calls him "chunkos" those most. He has names for every child I feel like that he uses often-Corbin: "Corb-a-Lorbs" Gavin: "Gava-Flav" and Mikaela: "Babers"

Anyways I wasn't so worried about the date anymore as I was more mentally exhausted from guessing when he was going to come because I kept getting more contractions randomly at in the evening. Tuesday night I had a few and question if it would pick up but then nothing. Wednesday they started picking up in the afternoon again and I went to Young Womens that night and started having some pretty uncomfortable and longer contraction so everyone as well as I thought I would definitely be going into labor that night. So when I woke up Thursday morning (a week from when I originally thought I was possibly going into labor-which like I said I got a little anxious/excited about it) I was a little discouraged and then I just told myself May 4 would be good for "May the 4th be with you" for Star Wars since Corbin is into that so much or May 5 being 5/5 was good too so I knew any day was good.

I don't remember when contractions started on Thursday but I know Jesse texted me asking me "any signs" and I had my phone on silent in hopes to get some rest because I was pretty tired (which always makes you nervous cause you don't want to go into labor really tired) I told him I dozed off to be woken up from painful contraction but didn't think much of it at this point since my body seemed to not know when it wanted to go into labor. I was started to feel more pressure down there but nothing was consistent still. I text Jesse at work right before 6pm and said "I am feeling a little more like things might happen..possible haha its hard to know at this point. But I seem to be getting contractions around every 5 minutes but don't last very long. It of course can stop anytime like its been doing but thought I'd at least let you know" then told I'm no need to rush home because I was just making dinner. Then at 7:20 he still wasn't home from work but I was pretty exhausted at that point and contractions were more painful but not lasting very long or being consistent in how that felt. With the previous three labors once they started they gradually went and contraction got stronger and closer together and longer so I was just waiting for them to kinda go the same way but at this point I was pretty positive it was the beginning of real labor now.
I was texting one of my counselors (Sis Weaver) in young womens because the night before she offered to come over if needed so she thankfully was a good person I could rely on coming and not having to worry about being too much of a bother. Around 9:00 I told her she should probably come over and I will just go to the hospital and walk around there if needed because I really don't like to labor a long time at the hospital because it gets harder when they want to monitor you. She got here around 9:15 and they were definitely getting more intense. Thankfully the kids were all in bed and we were able to leave and not worry about much. Then once we got in the car I feel like they started getting worse..I didn't know if it was because I was able to stand and rock back and forth and be in a position that felt best at home and in the car your a little more limited or if things were really moving along. The hospital is less than 15 minutes away but you could tell Jesse was getting a bit nervous. I had a really bad contraction and he panicked and said he would take the back roads because their are quite a few lights on St. Rose but I told him not to worry we will be fine...at least my water hasn't broke ha! With Mikaela I parked the car with him and walked in but this time I told him I needed him to drop me off and go park the car while I check in at the ER-you have to go through the ER passed a certain time. You gotta love when your trying to tell them information but your having a contraction so you can't really speak too well. Jesse came in shortly after and a nurse from labor and delivery came down to wheel me up to the floor. She asked me if I was dilated at my last appointment which was just the day before and I replied yes to a 4 and it was my 4th baby and right then she picked up the speed and knew we were in a hurry to get up there. We checked in at the nurses station on the labor and delivery floor at 9:39 and they took me back to the room and had me change into the gown (this was the first time they just took me to a room instead of checking me first to see if I was truly in labor etc). I came out of the bathroom and laid in bed and was feeling pretty good still for the most part and they checked me and I was at a 7. I told Jesse I was surprised that I was actually doing ok still cause every other time I was at that 7-10 range I was in really intense pain and the contractions were super close together that I didn't get much of a break in-between them..yes these were still painful but I felt pretty in control still. The nurse was asking me the normal questions they have to to admit you in and all of a sudden my water broke through that next contraction and she jumped up and knew things were going to go fast from there. She had already called my doctor but knew at that point he wasn't going to make it so they called for the hospital on call doctor but no time for him to get there either because I was ready to push that baby out. Thankfully another OB doctor (Dr. Lewis) was checking on their patient in the room next door and she kindly came in and helped. My contraction were still being kinda funny as far as they weren't lasting very long so she was trying to tell me to push but I told her sorry not yet I need to wait for another contraction. I felt the most calm I have with any delivery but still of course in a lot of pain-ring of fire definitely happened super bad this time because again I was pushing through that next contraction and he was coming out so she said to keep pushing cause he was all but there but my contraction had ended so my body wasn't helping it along as much and goodness that part hurt!! But still pretty quickly he came out at 10:03...so just a little over 20 minutes from when we checked in at the nurses station. It felt so empowering and I somehow can say I enjoyed the experience. Sounds a little crazy but when things go pretty smoothly I like that feeling of "I can do hard things" and having this precious soul come straight from Heaven right into your arms the endorphins have me enjoy labor. He laid on my chest as I delivered my placenta and then Jesse cut the cord after. This never gets old! :) Caden Max Jensen born 5/3/2018 weighing 7 lbs 7 oz. 20 1/2 inches long.