Little moments

Since I just wrote about some of the struggles of being a mother…I think I should write about those sweet moments I really don't want to forget of being a mom! 

I loved that Corbin learned and understood a little more of what Easter is about this year. We were at the grocery store and were buying a few treats and the lady said something like "enjoy these for Easter" And Corbin immediately said "Easter! Jesus died for us!" I could tell the Lady didn't know if she fully understood what he said or how to respond not knowing if he for sure said that. He repeated himself since she didn't say anything and I then assured her of what he was saying. You could tell that it gave her a moment to think and that she was very impressed that he said that. I'm not quite sure of her beliefs but to me it seems liked it touched her and she said as she patted his head "oh God bless you! That's right" or something along those lines. She asked me if I taughted him or if he goes to a Sunday school or something-I told her a little bit of both. But I loved how Corbin always said "Jesus died for us" or that Easter was for Jesus! He said "I love Jesus"..but he also loves food and the treats he knew he was getting for Easter ha!

Today corbin wanted to watch a show and since I don't like for him to watch a ton of TV I've been saying we have to have all the toys cleaned up first-he usually gives me a little bit of grief but it makes sense so he doesn't fight me too much. But half the time he gets distracted and just plays with the toys or figures out something else he wants to do. The other times he gets a little overwhelmed with the thought of cleaning up everything so he wants my help. But the system works out great for now...for the most part. Anyways after cleaning today I put on a show for him and he just sits right down on my lap and cuddles right into me-I sadly immediately said I gotta go clean up sorry! But he then said no mom stay with me! And of course I have so much I could clean and get done and he wasn't watching a show I care to watch but I knew those moments were important to him to cuddle and spend that time together. And it was important to me too! A lot of kids don't just cuddle with there moms all the time and I really want him to always want to and not stop or give up on the idea.

Then tonight with our whole bedtime routine, we read books then usually I lay down with him and sing him a few songs. He asked for my phone to listen to the Children's primary songs on an app I have. I really didn't want him to but decided to let him listen to one song-well we ended up listen to quite a few and singing along with them together. Another sweet moment together that sometimes I just have to remember that sticking to rules or trying to be strict with some things that aren't always totally necessary I can miss out on those small sweet moments. Then it was time for me to leave the room and our conversation went like this: Corbin: mom you sleep with me?

Me: no, I can't. I still need to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. (If I gave in to sleeping with him he would take advantage and want me to throughout the night-some nights I do "sleep with him" until he falls asleep though) Corbin: oh ok Me: but I love you (The we give each other butterfly Eskimo and regular kiss) Corbin: ok now go brush you teeth please, you don't want cavities! Me: (as I kinda laugh) yeah that's right, I will go! Goodnight! Corbin: ok, then you can come back and sleep with me!

My silly sweet boy!

Mentally draining.

First off I am not writing this to complain and I hope it doesn't come off too much like that but I am writing this down more to remember this stage of life and that being a mom can be hard! I called and vented to my mom...multiple times now I think but more to just talk it out and try to get advice.

We have good times and hard times and I wouldn't say I am having a hard time right now (things have been much worse at times) but I am just mentally drained. I love spending my days with Corbin and Gavin and I would never change it...yes some days I say I would like a nice break from them but just a good hour to myself can be so rejuvenating (and sometimes a whole day sounds nice). And I did realize I have never spent a single night away from either of my kids. Yes Corbin turns 3 in May and I have never spent a night a way from him-the thought of it I don't like either...I guess I am pretty attached to my kids. (But I bet a lot of people can say the same) 

Anyways so I think a lot of people can relate to this but I am having a hard time right now between the two of them because of their constant whining and just needing me. I like to feel needed but sometimes I just need a break. They are both at a fun stage right now and I love how they are both a little more independent in there own ways but at the end of the day I am just drained. And I know I am not alone, I know I can say most moms of young kids are...or older too most likely just in different ways. 

Some days by dinner time I think they head is going to explode if I hear the word "why?" one more time! Its basically said after anything and everything. That is the frustrating part for me because I can't even answer it half the time then he gets frustrated that I don't/can't.  I am glad Corbin is curious and is learning but sometimes I don't want to answer 'why?' anymore. I feel like some days everything said is in a questions form. Like I said he is getting more independent so he is definitely testing his boundaries and limits and thinks he can do whatever he wants now and doesn't have to listen to what I say. And dang it I have said "because I said so!" a few times now because sometimes I just can't answer why 5 more times. 

Gavin is constantly into everything which really doesn't bother me that much but more of the feeling of not getting anything done or my house never looking clean when I spend a lot of time cleaning. He knows what he wants now and knows how to whine/cry for it....or try to fight for it from Corbin (The joys of siblings ha) And some days I just can't handle Gavin's constant pinching me or pulling my hair or attacking my face while feeding him anymore. It hurts!.. 

Last time i'll say this-I am not trying not to come off complaining about my kids and what they do that is annoying but maybe more so I can look back and laugh at myself because I know there are bigger problems ahead ;) I am actually kinda laughing at myself as I write this but its those little things that add up throughout the day that I figured out are just mentally draining.

I am pretty happy with where my life is at but sometimes I just have a hard time wishing I was a little more optimistic and not let those little things bother me and I wish I could be overall a little more happy and positive. I keep thinking I need to find a hobby or something to look forward to because all the mom chores of never ending cleaning, cooking, laundry but most days I feel like I can barely keep up on those things. Sounds familiar to anyone? I guess its hard knowing we can always be better but I just need motivation and strength to be better. 

Well I am hoping this conference time can help me refocus my thoughts and priorities as I pray for answers to how to be a better mom, wife, and person. I will continue to "practice the music of the gospel" and hope to get much better but know it will come little by little! :)

Sure loves these little stinkers-thanks for teaching me a new level of patience and love! :)

"Sister-Wives" in Cali

My sister Courtney was planning on going on a vacation for the 10th anniversary and I heard my mom was going to watch her kids so I called my sister and half jokingly told her she should plan her vacation the week Jesse had the RV show because he would be really busy and it would be perfect timing for us to go away for a bit. And spending a week with my mom sounded pretty great to me. Well lucky us my sister planned it that very week for me to come to California as well with my mom and watch her kids. I mean ideally I would have just like to spend a week with my mom doing whatever we wanted but with kiddos it kinda limited us a little and the fact that we had to play "sister-wives" with watching/punishing the kiddos and have all the responsibilities of cleaning/cooking etc. :)

My kind sister even made us a pie when we got their for pie day…another request I had! ;)

Sunday we drove to San Clemente where we used to live when I was young. It was fun to watch her have the memories flood back in and see all of the things she recognized but also notice how much change has happened. It would have been nice to be able to go to the beach there but it took us a good amount of time to drive there we didn't really feel up to going back another day when there were closer beaches.

It was fun to be able to do a little girl's hair!

Monday we went to Newport beach. It randomly found this perfect area to park where there were bathrooms and a park. The weather was perfect that day and the tide was so far back that there were little pools of water for the kiddos to play in.

Tuesday we stayed around Courtney's house (Riverside) because Max had school. We took the other kids to the park in the morning and had a little St. Patrick's day celebration in the evening. And the kids love to take a bath together!

Wednesday we enjoyed the beach so much before that we thought we would try it out again..sadly it was a bit too chilly but we still were able to play in the sand and at the park for a while. There is many incentives of being good and "listening and obeying" like going to the park or having a "party" which included us marching in a "parade" around the block, and feeding ducks at the park!

Thursday while Max was a preschool again my mom decided we should go running with the other kids. My sister lives at the top of a hill so no matter what you will be running hills. And boy were the hills steep! Definitely felt that workout. (she might be half crazy sometimes) And they loved the caterpillar we found..another thing that made my mama happy!

Friday we went to a park in the morning, took the kids for pizza at costco, then a park again the in afternoon…parks all day every day with kids right?

Overall a success week I would say. Exhausting still but fun to spend time with everyone!