I choose Happy.

It's funny how when you are trying to teach your child something you realize you have to be the example to follow for them to know how to act and be. It's an opportunity to try to be better in that area and just a nice little reminder I guess too. 

This past while a thought came up (that I am pretty sure my mom started somehow) that I wanted to teach Corbin that he was in control of his emotions and he gets to choose how to act and not letting other people's actions control him and his thoughts/behavior. Basically to not play the blame game and to not accuse someone else for why you are feeling a certain way. (If that makes sense). For example, I wanted to teach him that because of the choices he makes he gets the consequences that follow-he can't get upset with me and blame me for his unhappiness when he chose to make a bad choice.

When he started getting frustrated or upset and get grumpy I would ask him-"do you want to be grumpy and unhappy or do you want to be happy?" because ultimately we are in control of how we feel.

I kept thinking about how Heavenly Father has given us our agency. We are in control of how we feel. Not matter the situation you can make it a good one or a bad one. You can have all the "crap" happen to you and you can either choose to make the best of it or you can choose to mope. What does Satan want? He wants you to be unhappy, to think that life is unfair, to think you have an awful situation/life. He wants you to choose grumpy, unhappy, negative! Are we going to give in and let him win and be miserable like him or are we going to use our agency and choose to be happy? Good thing we have our agency!

Life can be hard and I admit motherhood is hard for me and some days it is really hard for me to choose happy. I think to blame my kids--they are so whiney for no reason, they won't stop crying, they won't stop demanding me, I can never make them happy. Some days I have let them choose my happiness. I let them be in control of my mood…and its really hard not to as a mom because you are emotionally involved of course. But just as I was trying to teach Corbin that he is in control on how he feels no matter the situation I was/am being challenge to learn the same thing.

Yesterday I had a rough day of just feeling deflated and exhausted from whiney kids who were fighting  for no reason and feeling like a failure in many ways. By the end of the day I just was done and I was putting my kids to bed a little early. I wasn't upset and being rude but I was definitely not myself. (sadly I was choosing grumpy) As I was putting Corbin pajamas on he was trying to be goofy and I give a fake smile back to him he then looks at me and says "Mom why are you not happy?" He could totally read my mood and was worried about me. I immediately played the blame game…and answered "well I am exhausted from you and Gavin being so whiney and crying all day!" Right after I said that I felt guilty as he replied "I will make good choices Mom! You be happy now?" Oh how I wish sometimes I was like a child again and could just forget about it and move on. He was reminded me right there that it was my choice to be happy or not! There wasn't anything happening right then that I needed to be grumpy for! I was choosing to be unhappy. 

We continued with our bedtime routine and I read him a few books. He asked me after we were done " are you better now mom? are you happy now?" ugh! It was finally in that moment that I realized I was continuing to choose to be unhappy and mope in my own misery of being negative-I had a choice right then to choose happy or to choose misery.
2 Nephi 2:25: Adam fell that men might be; and men are, that they might have joy.
Heavenly Father wants us to have joy. Sometimes I need to remember that he wants me to have fun-I don't need to just stick to my tasks and make sure I am doing everything perfectly. I need to relax and "Enjoy the Journey". It continues on verse 26: "…knowing good from evil; to act for themselves and not be acted upon…" Again reminding us that we have the agency to choose…to not just be acted upon. And in my case to choose happy and not let the world or people act upon me.
I know Choosing Happy is something I need to work on…sometimes daily and I am glad Heavenly Father sends me little reminders of where I need to improve. I can sit here and write this and know I need to choose happy and its my choice but its definitely an ongoing battle.