Sunday, January 18, 2015

Rough start

So I must say January has been a bit rough for me. I was going to write..or I should say vent..a post a few days ago because I was just so down and negative and done with everything. I wanted to vent about all the hard things going on because I knew that I need to remember the bad to look back and know that it got better and know it can get worse...but it's probably a good thing I wasn't motivated enough to because I probably would have been way too negative! Things are looking up and I'm trying really hard to be more positive. It is one of my goals for the year. I think, that I think I'm positive but I complain and point out the negative more than I notice so I really am going to try to be better. My mom gave me the advice to have my time to vent or whatever I need (so I don't just bottle it in because I'm one that needs to talk through things) but then besides that time try to talk positive about everything else. I'm really trying hard with Corbin these last few days. Sick kids makes everything harder I think...or most mom could agree and say they know it makes things harder. (And when your our water filter goes out-which will be a few hundred and my computer randomly starts not working which is another couple hundred..ugh) This past week Gavin got really sick for the first time. He got a fever one night and didn't sleep well at all and he finally had a tooth pop through and it seems like my kids get runny noses and a slight fever right before a tooth pops through so that mixed with a cold they both caught the poor guy hasn't been feeling well. Thankfully he's not awful when he's sick but he's definitely been a little more needy and wants to be held more. Corbin on the other hand had the cold as well but he requires a lot when he's sick...he got an ear ache from the drainage I'm assuming and let's just say we had some rough days. Why do I let a toddler determine my mood/attitude/confidence? Well because when he's the only person I'm around all day it's hard not to. But he also has been the sweetest little boy and thankfully I had something switch half way through this week that helped remind me that he just wants love and attention (a lot of attention) but instead of being so upset-when he's not going to sleep each night-I decided to try to enjoy that time when he kept saying "mommy I want to cuddle" which really meant he just wanted me to lay down with him (at first in my bed but I had to stop that one quick) but now he likes me to lay down with him to help him fall asleep and he really likes when I tickle him and sing him songs-mostly primary songs but our list usually consist of cuppy cake, I am a Child of God, I Love to See the Temple, I Know That My Savior Loves Me (because I'm teaching the primary that right now), As I Have Loved You, and whatever other ones I can think of but his favorite are definitely the first 3. He's constantly asking for hugs and to help with everything I'm making. He wants to do everything by himself and reminds me to "take turns" or "share". It's all these things that I need to remember he'll only be this little once and he won't always want to do these things with me and he's learning how to be more independent. I am learning to enjoy these moments instead of get frustrated and annoyed. But I definitely can say this right now but still have my moments (and have to continue to remind myself) but I'm hoping for a better happier week..or second half of Janurary! ;) These "mommy funks" I am learning definitely seem like will be an on going battle! 

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